Gigi Engle

eating cherries-iStock-157429540

It really matters what you put in your mouth. *wink wink*

How Nutrition Affects Your Sexual Health

affection-iStock-1218785938

Harm reduction starts in the classroom and at home.

Comprehensive Sex Education Could Curb Everyone’s Trauma Around Sex

love-iStock-1280575649

A strong pelvic floor can help with everything from bladder control to stronger orgasms.

How Strengthening the Pelvic Floor Can Improve Sex, Regardless of What Genitals You Have

Terri Wilder, M.S.W.

Ina Park

A new book authored by UCSF School of Medicine professor Dr. Ina Park delves into the untold stories of HPV, herpes, and other sexually transmitted infections.

‘Strange Bedfellows’ Pushes Boundaries to Shatter STI Silence and Stigma

Bobby Box

mask covering genitalia-iStock-1296202597

For many, the past year has led to lower sex drive, but there are plenty of ways to get it back up and running again. 

Libido Down During COVID Lockdown? Here's How the Pandemic Has Affected Sexual Desire

Juan Michael Porter II

Staff Writer

man smiling at phone-iStock-1184331578

Among 10,000 survey respondents, 58% say that they’ve become more interested in long-term relationships than they were before the COVID-19 pandemic.

Grindr Survey Says Romance Is Bringing Sexy Back

BDSM-iStock-172171438

Kink is more than whips and chains for some of the people who are into it. It can be a tool for healing.

How Kink Can Be Used to Help Your Mental Health

sex shame-iStock-1097368640

The release of all that orgasmic energy doesn’t always make us feel amazing in the minutes after sex. In fact, it can make us feel depleted, sad, or lonely.

Why We Feel Shame After We Orgasm

sex toys-iStock-1292398322

Sex writer Bobby Box learned more about his body and how to please it—plus how to please others—given some time alone and some toys.

Learning to Love Myself With Sex Toys During the Pandemic

masturbation-iStock-1218444483

Honey, when it’s done with enthusiasm, masturbation isn’t a snack—it’s a whole meal.

Why Mutual Masturbation Should Be on Your Valentine’s Day Sex Menu

As a certified sex educator, I get a lot of questions about sex toys. Like, a *lot*, a lot. For now, let’s distill my inbox’s most prominent sex toy–related inquiry: “There are so many different kinds of sex toys. How do I know which one I want? And what are the differences? Are there any? *What am I doing? Help me!*”

The thing is, when it comes to sex toys (and sex education in general, if I’m being honest), there just isn’t a lot of good, trustworthy information out there. Why? There are a lot of reasons, mostly to do with shame. There are countless problems with sexual shame and our society’s fraught relationship with it, but sex toys can be especially confusing. If you want a vibrator and you buy a dildo, you’re going to be disappointed. If you buy a vibrator that isn’t made for anal play and use it for anal penetration? You could wind up in the emergency room.

What’s more, the Food and Drug Administration doesn’t regulate sex-toy materials in the U.S. This means that companies can make sex toys out of whatever the hell they want with very little consequence. Read: Companies can make sex toys that go *in your body* out of materials that aren’t safe for your body—such as jelly or low-grade rubber.

Don’t worry: We have all the information you need so you can go forth on your sex-toy journey prepared and armed with information. Because you deserve to know what’s making you orgasm.

## Vulva Toys: Dildos vs. Vibrators

What’s the confusion? The shape. The classic dildo and rabbit vibrators (of Sex and the City fame and still the most popular sex toy for vulva owners) both have a long, phallic shape. They look relatively similar and are both made for penetration, so they are often mixed up.

Let’s break them down:

*Dildos*: A dildo is a long, cylindrical sex toy that, in its most basic form, looks like a penis. Luckily, there are now so many different shapes, sizes, and colors that the scary penis-centric image of the dildo has transformed. People still buy real-dick-looking dildos, but you have options. The notable thing about dildos is that they don’t vibrate. “A dildo is a phallic-shaped object that can be inserted into an orifice,” Kenneth Play, an international educator and sex hacker, tells TheBody. And, sometimes, they are curved to reach the G-spot area.

*Vibrators*: What makes a vibrator? You guessed it—they vibrate. Vibrators are, in my opinion, the most nuanced and complex category of sex toys because there are a zillion different shapes and sizes. They are designed for either external or internal use (or both), depending on their shape and size.

It’s important to note that while a vulva/vagina toy might be designed for external or internal use, you can experiment and use them for one or the other, or both. The vagina is a closed-off canal. Your toys won’t get lost, I promise!

Who doesn’t love a good subcategory, amiright? Let’s break them down (again).

*External vibrators (bullets, finger vibes)*: These toys are used for external stimulation of the clitoris. “Both bullet and finger vibrators are small enough to fit in the palm of your hand,” erotic educator Taylor Sparks tells TheBody. “The ones called bullet vibrators tend to be shaped like ... bullets or at least are cylindrical in shape. Finger vibrators are similar to bullet vibes but have a loop so that you can slip it on your finger and it becomes an extension of your own hand. You can find them both at varying speeds and intensities.”

*Internal vibrators (G-spot wands)*: Internal vibrators have the same “phallic,” cylindrical length of a dildo, only they vibrate. What’s more, they are usually shaped with a curved head, designed to reach the G-spot area. “Some vulva owners like the feeling of the vibrations on their G-spots, while others may enjoy it being rubbed back and forth or round and round. So a G-spot vibrator can be used to stimulate this area on or off,” says Sparks, who is the founder of Organic Loven, the largest Black, indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC)–owned online intimacy shop.

*Dual vibrators (rabbits, dual wands)*: As mentioned, the rabbit is the most popular form of vibrator to this day, thanks to Samantha Jones. Dual vibrators combine clitoral and G-spot stimulation for a full, internally and externally stimulating experience. They have a vibrating, cylindrical base and an attached, external head designed to reach the glans clitoris. Some vulva owners love them, some don’t. Get curious and experiment.

## Anal Toys: Anal Beads vs. Anal Dildos vs. Anal Plugs

Anal toys are in their own special category for one big reason: safety. The anus has two rings: the outside ring (the one you can flex when you tighten your butthole) and an inner ring, which we cannot control. The inner ring has truly astonishing sucking power—it can take toys right up and away. Anal toys are specifically designed to avoid this pitfall: They have a flared base, designed to act as a stopper.

All forms of butt toys come in both vibrating and non-vibrating versions. Read the toy’s description before you purchase.

Let’s break them down:

*Anal plugs*: Anal plugs look like, well, plugs. Butt plugs have a flared base. Never, ever put anything up your bum that doesn’t have a flared base. From this article to God’s ears. “They tend to be tear-shaped with a wide base to keep them from being ‘sucked up’ into the anal canal. They come [in] vibrating and non-vibrating [models] and in many materials—silicone, glass, and even wood,” Sparks explains.

*Anal dildos*: Anal dildos are usually best paired with a strap-on for pegging. They fit into a harness (such as the cloth harness from SpareParts) and can be used for anal sex. They look very similar to classic dildos—only they have a flared base. Start with smaller anal dildos before moving up to bigger sizes. Communicate with your partner and let them know if anything feels uncomfortable.

*Anal beads*: “Anal beads come in a string of beads, like on a bracelet,” Play tells us. The idea is to insert the beads, one at a time, to stimulate the nerve-rich anal opening. When you’re about to orgasm, you (or a partner) can remove the anal beads one at a time. This can increase your sensation. Play notes that you should always choose anal beads that come with a flared bottom, so you don’t lose them up your bum.

I cannot stress this enough: FLARED BASES FOR BUMS ONLY.

## Penis Toys: C*ckrings, Masturbation Sleeves, etc.

Lastly, we would be remiss not to mention toys designed for penises. Penis toys are important to understand before using them, but they come with fewer risks. You’re not going to lose a penis ring up your urethra the way one might lose a non-anal dildo up a tight sphincter.

Let’s break them down:

*C-rings*: C*ckrings are rings that go around the base of the penis to restrict blood flow. This can help with greater control over climax, longer erections, and more intense orgasms. Be sure that the c-ring you’re using is made of body-safe or medical-grade silicone. Use a reliable, water-based lubricant to help with friction. Do not exceed 20 minutes when using one, as this can cause injury.

*Masturbation sleeves*: Masturbation sleeves are exactly what the name says: A sleeve for masturbation. Its most rudimentary model might be familiar: the Fleshlight. The Fleshlight is designed to look like a vagina or anus. It has a bad reputation as being seedy and weird, but I chalk this up to our culture’s shame around sex. Men and all penis owners have every right to pleasure and orgasms, too. Plus, you don’t need to get a grimy-looking toy anymore. Sex-toy company Tenga has taken the lead in creating masturbation sleeves that are truly works of art. Party on!

*Vibrators*: Vibrators are made for vulvas, but they can be used for penises too! They are versatile—so long as you’re keeping them away from your anus. Try using a wand vibrator on the head of your penis and see how it feels. Don’t forget lube!

adult-sex-toys-for-women-and-men-assortment-of-dildo-vibrator-anal-plug-beads-penis-pump-and-lube-sex t20 mLmm2v

Is there really a difference between a dildo and a vibrator? Because the world needs to know.

A Beginner’s Guide to Different Kinds of Sex Toys

Sexual Health

peach taco eggplant emoji

Peach Taco Eggplant: A Resource Center

Here is the piping hot tea: 80% to 90% of sexually active people will have some strain of HPV (human papillomavirus) at some point in their lives. Not only is HPV the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI), it’s one of the most common viruses that exist on this, the planet Earth.

If the term “STI” scares you, it really shouldn’t. Yes, HPV is an STI, but the vast majority of cases of HPV go away all on their own about 90% of the time. “I always tell my patients that HPV is a natural consequence of being sexually active. Although there are some measures you can take to reduce risk of transmitting or acquiring HPV, most sexually active people will be exposed at some point,” says sexual health expert Ina Park, M.D., author of *Strange Bedfellows*, a book on STIs.

While very common and, in most cases, quite innocuous, some high-risk HPV strains can lead to certain cancers and/or genital warts. HPV does not appear on a regular STI panel, is spread via skin-to-skin contact, and has no cure. The only things we can currently do to curb the spread of HPV is to vaccinate children; use barrier methods, such as condoms; and have regular Pap smears—for those of us who own a cervix.

People are generally pretty confused about HPV and how it works. As a certified sex educator, I find myself regularly holding the hands of friends, family, clients, and readers alike when they come face-to-face with HPV. I’m asked the same questions over and over again.

Why? Because it’s an STI, which means there is stigma surrounding this very common virus. People are afraid to talk about HPV, when it is as ordinary as getting a cold. When we don’t talk about it, we can only do harm. Information is power.

Here are some important, albeit rarely talked about, things everyone should know about the human papillomavirus.

## The HPV Vaccine Doesn’t Prevent All Forms of HPV

Gardasil, the HPV vaccine, is highly effective in preventing nine high-risk strains of the human papillomavirus. Health care professionals recommend that young people, regardless of gender, should get the HPV vaccine around the ages of 11 to 13 as a preventative measure. You can get the vaccine up until the age of 26. Some 27 to 45 year olds who are not already vaccinated may get the HPV vaccine after talking with their doctor.

## While the Vaccine is Critically Important to Public Health, It Is Not a Get-Out-of-HPV-Free Card

There are over 100 known strains of HPV, with new ones showing up and mutating all the time. This is common behavior for a virus: They adapt and change over time. Of the strains we currently know about, Felice Gersh, M.D., director of the Integrative Medical Group of Irvine and the author of *PCOS SOS Fertility Fast Track*, tells TheBody that 40 strains are considered “high risk.” This means that you can have the Gardasil vaccine, contract an HPV strain that isn’t among the nine strains the vaccine protects against, and therefore still be at risk for cervical and/or other cancers. Ninety percent of cervical cancer is related to cell changes caused by an HPV infection.

If you have regular Pap screenings, cell changes can be detected early enough to have treatment. If everyone had regular Pap smears and screenings, cervical cancer could be completely eradicated. What a wonderful world that would be.

## HPV Is Not a Cis-Female-Only Virus

What’s more, Gersh tells us HPV doesn’t only affect cervical health. It is also responsible for cancers of the vulva, vagina, anus, oral cavity, and throat. While regular Pap screenings are the only way we currently screen for HPV, that does not mean it only affects the cisgender female population.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that in addition to HPV-related cervical cancer, the virus is also thought to be responsible for 90% of all anal cancers and 70% of oropharyngeal and vulvar/vaginal cancers. “In fact, HPV-related oropharyngeal cancer (back of the throat/tonsils/base of the tongue) is now more common in the U.S. than cervical cancer,” says Park. “Those cancers are almost five times more common in men than women.”

TLDR; HPV affects every single sexually active human, regardless of one’s genitals.

## Intercourse Is Not the Only Way to Get HPV

While having sexual intercourse is the most common way this virus is spread, it is by no means the only way. Unlike STIs like HIV, chlamydia, or gonorrhea, HPV is spread “through direct contact, not through bodily fluids. Typically, the contact is genital skin to genital skin, penile-vaginal penetration, anal penetration, and oral sex (mouth to genitals),” Gersh explains.

Anne Hodder-Shipp, ACS, a certified sex educator and founder of Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, tells TheBody that HPV “can be spread through skin-to-skin contact, really any mucus membrane coming in contact with the virus.” The genitals are a prime region for HPV because the soft, absorbent tissue of the genital region is among the most absorbent on the human body.

According to research published in *The Lancet*, a leading medical journal, while it’s pretty rare to spread HPV from hand-to-genital contact, it is *possible*. This means you could, in fact, touch someone’s genitals and then your own, contracting HPV from the hand carrying the virus.

This is not meant to be a scare tactic designed to frighten you into celibacy. It is merely a realistic look at the virulent nature of HPV. It is really effing contagious!

## Your Immune System Plays a Big Role in Your Ability to Fight off HPV

The way your body responds to HPV infection is correlated with the strength or weakness of your immune system. While some strains of HPV are far more aggressive than others, their viral makeup is not the *only* thing that dictates how it will impact your body.

There is no cure for HPV. In the vast majority of cases, your body will fight off the virus by itself. This means your immune system is a key player in your ability to eradicate this virus. This is troubling for people who are immunocompromised, such as some people living with HIV, lupus, or other immune-related illnesses.

“The status of one’s immune system has a definite impact on the outcome of an infection,” Gersh explains. “A healthy and robust immune system is most likely to successfully resolve an HPV infection. When the immune system is not robust and healthy, the propensity for an infectious virus to create a precancerous state of the tissues increases, and in the case of HPV, low-grade HPV lesions (warts) would also become more likely.”

This is certainly not to say that people with weaker immune systems shouldn’t have sex—that would be bonkers—but if you do have a compromised immune system, you may want to discuss your HPV risk with your medical provider and schedule more regular Pap screenings, if you own a cervix.

At the end of the day, we’re all going to get HPV if we have sex. The best defense we have against this virus is information. So, let’s stop being so afraid to talk about it.

iStock-1207919718

HPV-iStock-1207919718

The human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common STI, but people are still confused about how it works.

The human papillomavirus is the most common STI, but people are still confused about how it works.

4 Important Things Everyone Should Know About HPV

- “Trends in Human Papillomavirus–Associated Cancers — United States, 1999–2015,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. August 24, 2018. [cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/67/wr/mm6733a2.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/67/wr/mm6733a2.htm)
- “HPV-Associated Oropharyngeal Cancer Rates by Race and Ethnicity,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. September 3, 2020. [cdc.gov/cancer/hpv/statistics/headneck.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/hpv/statistics/headneck.htm)
- “HPV (Human Papillomavirus),” Cleveland Clinic. September 18, 2018. [my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/11901-hpv-human-papilloma-virus](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/11901-hpv-human-papilloma-virus)
- “Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States. Some health effects caused by HPV can be prevented by the HPV vaccines,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. August 20, 2019. [cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm)
- “Hand-to-genital and genital-to-genital transmission of human papillomaviruses between male and female sexual partners (HITCH): a prospective cohort study,” *The Lancet*. February 8, 2019. [thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(18)30655-8/fulltext](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(18)30655-8/fulltext)
- “HPV-Associated Cancer Statistics,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. September 3, 2020. [cdc.gov/cancer/hpv/statistics/](https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/hpv/statistics/)

4 Important Things Everyone Should Know About HPV (Human Papillomavirus)

When it comes to anal sex, we often discuss preparation (aka the three Ds: dieting, douching, dilating), but we rarely mention what to do *after* engaging in anal sex. As fantastic as it is, anal sex can be traumatic to the body. If we engage regularly, we need to know how to properly care for the area before, during, *and* after the fun is said and done.

“Anal sex is a high-pressured act with significant forces at play, all of which can be quite traumatic,” Evan Goldstein, D.O., CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a medical and wellness practice for queer men, tells TheBody. “The anal cavity encompasses skin, muscles, and blood vessels, each of which can be restrictive and limiting. What that means is if someone goes beyond their capacity (i.e., their hole is opened up too wide or with too much force), any of these components can tear or develop other complications.”

The bum doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, and, since spit doesn’t contain the proper lubricity to ease penetration, one *must* invest in a quality lube (and lots of it) for a more pleasurable sexual experience and to prevent injury.

I favor a thick, water-based lubricant or silicone lube for anal sex, and applying it to the penis or toy, the b-hole, and *inside* the hole, since penetration often reaches deeper than the rim area. Lube can be applied with a finger (which makes for *great* foreplay) or, if your toy or partner is large, a [lube injector](https://shop.bespokesurgical.com/products/lube-applicator-set). You can even play with a lubricated toy to both lube and dilate your hole before the action begins.

Goldstein says “overaggressive anal douching” (i.e., douching with too much water or force) and the angle of the top and bottom’s pelvises are additional factors to consider. “Some people like to get creative with complex sexual positions (which are fine, but only once everyone is comfortable) or they’re simply too aggressive when they’re thrusting before the bottom has opened up,” Goldstein explains. “Unfortunately, there are many variables to think about that can increase the chances of potential anal injury—and they all need to be taken into consideration to minimize possible complications.”

Some people, [such as myself](https://www.thebody.com/article/cbd-suppositories-anal-sex), favor CBD suppositories when planning for longer, more intense sessions. These rocket-shaped pills ease inflammation and help relax the area––whether a bum or vagina––prior to intercourse. Some CBD oils offer similar benefits.

Whatever you do, do *not* use numbing lubricants. These have a reputation of masking pain, which is your body’s way of telling you to stop and reassess the situation. “It’s also going to numb his cock as well, which could result in you getting fucked for a very long time and further irritate the area,” adult actor Dallas Steele adds.

After you’ve bottomed, the area will be more sensitive than usual, so run a nice warm bath, spill in some Epsom salts, and bliss TF out. The warm water and Epsom salts will quell the area and relax your muscles. This makes for an opportune time to replay those sexy moments in your mind and clean the area. While a gentle soap will do the trick, you can be extra and purchase a bum exfoliator to clean and buff your booty hole. If you’re still feeling a little raw after your bath, pop an ibuprofen to help with inflammation.

“If, after four hours, you discover going number-two hurts, try using CBD oil, an anal numbing solution, or just regular dental numbing gel like Anbesol,” Steele recommends. “This will lessen the pain while your hole recovers from the pounding.”

After you’ve pooped, inspect the stool for blood. A little bleeding can be expected from time to time, but excessive pain, bleeding, or discharge should not, and you may want to consult a physician.

If you witness any of these symptoms, abstain from anal intercourse until they’re gone. This can take anywhere from a few days to a week to heal. In the meantime, take some Metamucil before bed, and drink plenty of water, so bowel movements are as smooth as possible, and take a sitz bath three to four times a day to keep the area clean. For good measure, use this time to consider how things can be done more carefully next time.

Moving forward, you may also want to reevaluate how you clean your bum after a bowel movement, since wet wipes are no good for your rear, especially if you engage in regular anal intercourse. Due to their ingredients, their moisture, and their material, wet wipes can [irritate and even infect your precious booty hole](http://www.newnownext.com/bidets-gay-men/09/2020/).

Toilet paper can be similarly abrasive, especially when you wipe instead of blot. That’s why you should be using a bidet. They’re a bottom’s best friend and offer a spa-like experience for your tuffet.

To keep your hole in tip-top shape, do some Kegels to tighten your pelvic floor and teach your hole some new tricks. Just insert a toy into your bum, flex, and repeat—it’s as simple as that. Additionally, many adult actors swear by vitamin E to keep their holes camera-ready. [Dolf Dietrich](https://ridelube.com/social-lubricant-a-conversation-with-dolf-dietrich/), who is no stranger to a gangbang, applies vitamin E oil once per day, both in and around his hole.

Some bum injuries require surgery. At Bespoke Surgical, the most common injury is an anal fissure, a tear in the skin that’s incredibly painful. Other potential consequences could be dilated veins (hemorrhoids), skin tag development (residual hemorrhoids or scarring from tears), anal infections (abscesses), and/or the development of an infected tunnel (anal fistula). All of these can be treated—just make sure you see a sex-positive, queer-friendly doctor who is knowledgeable about the bum.

As you can see, there are a lot of things to consider even after you’ve had butt sex. While these suggestions may not be as important as the planning––Steele insists, “The key to not being sore or even hurting after sex is to be prepared before, and to know your limits and experience level”––anal aftercare is good practice. We put our bums through a lot, and it’s time we give back.

iStock-1212007172

balloon nozzle-iStock-1212007172

Preparation before bottoming is key, but your booty hole will thank you for taking good care of it afterward, too.

Rear Perfection: How to Care for Your Bum After Anal Intercourse

How to Care for Your Butt After Anal Intercourse

In our horrid modern world riddled with the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, many former pleasures are altogether unavailable: karaoke, packed concert venues, sitting inside at a bar making conversation with the bartender. What do all these have in common? They are at their core about the comfort of being in a community. 

Many younger gay men who crave that personal interaction and community have found it through pup play, which has continued to grow in popularity during the pandemic. On the surface, the fetish practice may seem like nothing more than pretending to be a dog when hanging with, and sometimes having sex with, your best mates. Underneath, it’s about seeking comfort, care, and community in an increasingly cold world. With another wave of COVID crashing down on us and Trump supporters looting the Capitol, who wouldn’t rather be a “big dumb dog,” in the words of Zan, a pup-play enthusiast. 

Zan, 27, discovered the pup-play fetish on Tumblr seven years ago from his dorm room at Boston University. His Twitter and Instagram are full of selfies in various neon pup hoods (or, to the layperson, masks) with a trendy chain necklace. In his experience, people in the pup community are looking to have their emotional needs met. “There’s a lot of anxious people in the pup community,” he tells me over Zoom. 

Anxious people gravitate toward scenarios where someone is there to soothe them, to tell them that they are in fact a “good boy.” This dynamic is at the core of pup play. “There’s a dom/sub relationship where one person is providing care and one person is receiving it,” Zan explains. After the government has failed to provide any sort of care for us, why not seek out a new master? 

“Everything is so fucking stressful and annoying and evil and awful,” he adds. “I can’t look at my phone anymore, and my brain is falling out of my ears, and then this huge guy in rubber with tattoos wants you to be his dog—and you’re like, ‘Wow, that sounds so easy and great!’” 

More than stress relief, pup play offers Zan and others a sense of security. Part of that security also comes from so-called “packs,” which are a spin on the classic idea of queer chosen families. Before he found a like-minded group of people in Brooklyn, the fetish was mostly an internet aesthetic for Zan. Now it’s a whole identity, and the people he’s found through it are his pod. 

The community feel is also key for Jasper, another member of the pup-play community, who also goes by Dadpup or Aura. “I wanted a group, a family—and I wanted a pack. I wanted to be with people I could trust and not just have one-night stands with.” He has been actively identifying as a pup for five years. Initially, he became familiar with the subculture 11 years ago by attending the fetish festival MAL (Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend). The old guard of leather daddies didn’t provide much “coddling” or friendliness” in Jasper’s terms, which made pups stick out among the participants of the festivals. “I was hesitant to hang out with the pups at first because they seemed so needy or clingy,” Jasper recalls saying. “I wanted to be a badass and not have the comforts of someone else with me at the time.”   

This kind of “badass” identity is a mainstay of many sorts of fetish play, but perhaps disillusioned young men are wary of anything that sounds like the toxic masculine ideals that have caused so much harm already. Why not engage in something kinky and fun that also provides care and support? 

The platforms of Twitter and OnlyFans have been central for pup visibility, largely due to the demographics of people on the sites. “It is a younger crew, for the most part,” Jasper notes about the pup community compared to the fetish community at large. Jasper is quick to note that over the 10 years he’s been involved, he’s seen the entirety of kink rise. 

Still, the most visible people online are the younger ones, who appear in our algorithms with thousands of followers already. “You’re seeing more people on OnlyFans; people are becoming more comfortable in the people that they are,” Jasper says. Besides an increasingly strong sense of self, Jasper also notes that the rise of OnlyFans is connected to fewer people having to face repercussions from jobs they no longer have. People are creating accounts (pup or otherwise) to both alleviate new financial burdens and fulfill the human desire to connect. In the absence of real-life humans to gather with, throwing on a hood and turning on the webcam is the best alternative. 

Many of those hoods come from Mr. S Leather. The fetish store saw an increase in pup play as soon as they launched their [neoprene hood](https://www.mr-s-leather.com/puppy-park/neoprene-puppy-hoods) in 2016. Some hoods run for as low as $109.95, or cheaper than a Nintendo Switch. Now, Mr. S Leather has a whole section of their store devoted to pup accessories. You can get butt plugs with tail attachments, [S&M-esque muzzles](https://www.mr-s-leather.com/puppy-park/leather-muzzles), collars, leashes, and chain-lock collars that would look at home around any trendy gay’s neck. 

Zan will wear the hood sometimes when he’s just hanging out by himself. “You ever feel like shit so you put on a big hoodie? It’s like that,” he says. Jasper also sees how the fetish could be a comfort. “You can actually become something else and feel more comfortable in that suit because you need to get away from reality most times, especially now,” he says. “We don’t want to live in this reality.” 

Before the pandemic, Zan’s [pack](https://www.instagram.com/eastriverpack/) threw parties at the Brooklyn bar The Vault. They managed to pack the venue on a Wednesday, not something that the now-closed space could do often. But the OnlyFans and Twitter accounts won’t close, giving aspiring dogs a way to find their pack. “Even if we’re not meeting in person, we’re virtually meeting,” Jasper says.  

Some pups trying to grab a hood and meet virtually for the first time may have to wait a little longer than normal. “Unfortunately, in order to keep our production facility COVID safe, we have fewer people making hoods, so availability and turnaround times are a little longer than normal,” Murdy, the marketing director at Mr. S Leather, shared with TheBody over email. Murdy continued, “Most pups are not worried though and are happy to wait for their pup creations to be delivered.” They’ll have to wait longer till they can roll around together in a group of like-minded dogs. Until then, their front-facing camera and the expanse of the internet will have to do.   

It’s easy to chalk pup play’s rise up to the increasing strangeness of our time. But is it so strange? Frankly, underneath all the gear and fantasy, pup play is just about finding the love, security, and community we all seek in scary times. Acting like a dog is just a means to an end. 


Mo Wilson

49876092183 97e0bffd88 o

pup play-49876092183 97e0bffd88 o

With another wave of COVID crashing down on us and Trump supporters looting the Capitol, who wouldn’t rather be a “big dumb dog”?

Follow Us

Peach Taco Eggplant: A Resource Center

Featured