I am thinking of suicide too often, please help!!


I know you probably hate "am I infected qestions". I just can seem to get anyone to help me. All my Dr's think I'm not infected with HIV, but my mulitple symptoms don't make any sense.

Here's my story (in short version)...

Exposed early Dec. 2000, while kissing someone I didn't know well enough I tasted blood in his mouth. I started freaking out a few days later. My symptoms started with vaginal burning which eventually turned out to be bacterial infection. At about 9 weeks, I developed a pretty bad sinus infection and swollen glands on my neck,groin and elbows, severe sore throat, skin rash on arms and legs and thick white stuff mostly on the back of my tongue. This has all lasted through month 6.

Following tests have been done:

Elisa every 30 days to 6 month mark (Negative)

Chiron bDNA <50 @ 22 weeks.

P24 Antigen @ 20 weeks.

CD4 is 1,314 CD8 is 496 CD4/CD8 ratio is 2.6

What is going on with me? Could I possible have a strain not detected by these assays.

I was also told by someone that is person whom I was exposed to has HIV. He refuses to give me any results or even speak to me about it and has since moved from my area. I think he is bisexual and travels out of the country to Europe a few times a year.

I'm desperate for answers as all I can do is cry and pray as this not only affects me but my 2 beautiful children whom I dearly love and cherish. I do not want them exposed to me if I have this disease. They deserve a normal life, not a mother who will carry a transmittable disease and die in front of them suffering!

I would rather die now and spare my children any risk of catching it or even just living with someone who will be sick for life.

Very desperate for someone to help me!!!


You do not have HIV. If this doesn't give you peace of mind, then please see a mental health professional as soon as possible. Good luck!