Very scared! I need an expert opinion, please!! So many symptoms...


Hello Dr. Bob...I do hope you are doing well...I would love to donate to your foundation if you would gladly tell me how to go about doing so. I have a sad situation...unfortunately, I had an affair last year (2009) that was short-lived. My husband and I were having major issues (not that that justifies anything I did) and I made a huge mistake! I have been living with guilt since and trying to overcome that with knowing I will never do that again....(he is unaware of the affair and I do not want to cause him misery by telling him...believe me, I have thought about it, and keep feeling like laying this burden on him to relieve my guilt is just awful/but at times I still want to) Anyway... We (me and the other man) had oral sex (him giving to me) once, and two instances of protected sex, however, I am unsure if the condom was intact the entire time because I never "looked" afterwards and we were "hurrying" both times. I believe the last time we have intercourse was in early October of 09. I never thought too much about HIV because we used protection (IF IT WAS not faulty)...and was trying to work through guilt and my marriage! Then, at the end of Feb. 2010 (about 4-5 months after the last time) I came down with a case of oral thrush. Of course when I googled it HIV came up everywhere! This thrush was confirmed by a Doctor. She gave me Nystatin (spelling?) and it seemed to have gone away, but my stress and anxiety were doubled on top of the guilt I had felt for the last 4-5 months! I was so scared I not only made one horrible mistake but two by possibly contracting HIV if a condom malfunctioned and I am unaware.
On top of this I began to have fever (for a few days), still have nausea, headache, muscle aches, burning sensation on my tongue and wt. loss due to loss of appetite, and off and on sore throat. Also food and drinks tast funny and every day my tongue seemed to get whiter and whiter. All of this corresponded to Anxiety symptoms (so I read online)so I tried to push HIV out of my head, but with my guilt and all it has been a constant struggle. I had my first HIV negative test at the end of Feb. I have had my thyroid tested, tested for diabetes (I am in the Pre-Diabetes stage, but not diabetic) and was checked for Hep B and C, all negative. I had another HIV test on March 18th (this one was a home access kit USA) and that was also negative. Yet my tongue kept getting whiter (with bumps at the back) and I kept feeling like I was swallowing things when I would swallow. I went back to the Doc today and I have oral thrush AGAIN!!! (I think it has been there for a few weeks but I was chalking it up to dry mouth and anxiety) My questions are:

  1. If all my labs are coming back OK, what in the world is causing this oral thrush?
  2. Can I trust my negative HIV results at 5 months for sure?
  3. My Doc said this oral thrush COULD be my body's reaction to the anxiety/stress because it wears out the immune system, but thrush twice in a month?????
  4. Could the Nystatin just not have worked completely the first time around and that is why I have oral thrush again?
    I do not know of any other underlying medical issues that I have. I have always had one of those immune systems that does not fight off colds if I come in contact with someone with a cold...would that delay seroconversion or delay testing results? I am SO scared and am having a tough time dealing with my mistake and this thrush and the other symptoms. I forgot to mention that this has all left me severely anxious and depressed and I have recently been put on depression meds (as of last Friday).

Could you please help me with these questions. I really need an expert opinion.

Thank you so much for all you do for everyone.... Very scared and upset, me...



  1. The vast, vast majority of cases of thrush are completely unrelated to HIV. I can't diagnose the cause of your thrush over the Internet. However, with negative HIV tests out to five months, it is clear that HIV is not the cause!

  2. Yes.

  3. See #1 above.

  4. Yes.

  5. No. A cold would not delay HIV seroconversion.

I very strongly urge you to level with your husband. Your problem is guilt, anxiety and depression, all related to your affair and not being honest with your husband. Not only is telling him the truth the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. If the tables were turned, wouldn't you want to know?

Thank you for your interest in making a tax-deductible donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation. Donation information can be found on the foundation's Web site at (

Be well. Remember, HIV is not your problem.

Dr. Bob