Finding the Real Purpose of Religion in HIV and LGBTQ Life

A few months ago, I posted an off-color joke on Facebook poking fun at people who post daily Bible quotes. I’ll spare you the actual joke since it wasn’t one of my best witticisms and a few of my Bible-quoting cousins didn’t see the humor and attacked me in not very loving or accepting ways. One even accused me of being angry right before she blocked me. I don’t remember feeling particularly angry at the time, but in hindsight, I think that I’ve had smoldering anger about religion and religious people for a long time.

I grew up in the Roman Catholic church, and my oldest brother and sister became Born Again Christians in their late teens. I took to heart all the teachings about love, family, and helping others. Unfortunately, I also took to heart all the teachings, bible quotations, and comments from clergy and family that told me that despite being told that I was “beautifully and fearfully made,” (Psalm 139:14), soft, sissy boys like me grow up to be an abomination in the eyes of the Lord doomed to an eternal punishment in a fiery hell (which is how I interpret Leviticus 18:22). I can’t imagine putting that kind of fear and confusion into a child.

Despite my own misgivings, I understand that God and religion are important to many people. But in the LGBTQ+ community, spirituality is a subject that doesn’t get enough attention. With that in mind, I reached out to Bishop Pat Bumgardner from the Metropolitan Community Church in New York to be one of my At Home With Instagram guests. The Metropolitan Community Church offers a spiritual home for LGBTQIA people.

I first interviewed Rev. Pat last year. Her passion for people and God makes her a mighty figure. As thorny as I can be, something about talking to her settles my soul. Perhaps it’s her philosophy that her role as a pastor is not to tell people what to believe, but rather to guide people to figure out what they believe.

One of the things we talked about this year was how some people use specific Bible quotes to bully others to support their own agendas. Those are the kinds of quotes that hurt me as a child. She explained that it’s untrue that the Bible condemns LGBTQIA people, stating that she would be happy to go toe-to-toe with anyone who wants to discuss the so-called anti-queer Bible passages.

“Those texts of terror, as we call them, that are used against people are really mistranslations,” Rev. Pat said. “And basically, anyone who went to seminary after 1951 knows that; that’s not a big mystery.”

When Rev. Pat said that, I could feel my shoulders relax. She also said that the church at large needs to reclaim what Christianity is all about. It isn’t about controlling people or condemning them, but about building relationships that lift up and sustain life. “When we say, ‘Here, God made me,’ that’s a very serious both spiritual and political statement,” she said. “We are who we are by the grace and design of God.

“Everybody’s call is to live in a way that allows them to achieve God’s purpose in their life, which is always about sustaining life in some way,” she said. She also noted that the church or the Bible was never meant to be used to promote taking life or deriding life in any way. “The call is consistent for all of us. We may have different ways that we engage that, but it’s not a different vocation. It’s a human vocation.”

One of the other things I appreciate about Rev. Pat is that she doesn’t think that there’s only one belief system that’s the right one. “I used to love a sign that hung above Integral Yoga on West 13th Street [in New York City] that said, ‘Many Paths, One Truth,’” she said. “There is a spiritual power that I call God; you may call it something else. We may take different paths, but we have the same basic vision and the same basic calling in life.

“I always say the purpose of people, why God made us, is to bring the world to just and right relationships,” she continued. “It’s none of this nonsense about who you sleep with or in what position or what you produce from your liaisons. What we produce, people from our liaisons, is just and right relationships. And I think that’s critical.”

There are also organizations that are working to ensure LGBTQIA inclusion in church. Pride in the Pews, a nonprofit, collaborates with Black churches throughout the U.S. to affirm LGBTQ+ people and churchgoers. The organization also provides HIV/AIDS resources to congregants.

As we move toward election season, when there’s so much at stake and so much volatility about the issues involved, just and right relationships are exactly what we need to aim for. Conversations with each other, finding common ground, and finding ways for life to be safe and joyous for all of us is everyone’s job.

I wish I’d had a church leader like Rev. Pat when I was younger. However, getting to talk to her now has a true healing effect for that little wounded boy that I was, and for the still heartsore man that I am.