really scared

Question

Hello Dr. Bob, I'm a heterosexual male who had unprotected sex with a former female friend about three times with last exposure 3/1/11... she claims to be clean... i had unprotected sex with my wife on 2/1/2011 but a few days earlier i had my first exposure with the girl... my wife seperated the next morning so this was goodbye sex (i've regret and have cried my eyes out for months) i've tested 5x (clearview rapid 4/27 non reactive, 5/3 elisa non reactive, Hiv Quantative test negative 5/12, HIV western blot antibody on 6/27 negative no bands and on 7/7 elisa hiv 1 & 2 again negative) i also tested negative for hcv and all std's on 5/3... here's my problem, last week my wife got flu like symptoms and has develop a macular rash on her back and chest and neck... she had a fever for a couple of days but right now only has stuffy nose, sneezing and a slight cough... could I have infective her but not yet tested positive... it's been over 3 months... could i be late seconverting? why am I negative but my wife is showing hiv symptoms... i appreciate your help dr. bob.... (fyi my wife is a leukemia survivor when she was a teenager... not sure if this a relavent) I'm trully sorry for what i've done and have asked god for forgiveness... also the last time my wife had sex was with me on 2/1/2011

Answer

Hello.

Unprotected sex does put you at some degree of risk for STDs, including HIV. Your multiple negative HIV-antibody tests and undetectable quantitative PCR RNA out to four months from your last potential exposure are definitive and conclusive. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. You are not a late seroconverter.

You did not transmit HIV to your wife, because you don't have HIV. Whatever is causing her current symptoms, one thing is certain: The cause is not HIV transmitted by you.

Finally, use of the word "clean" to describe HIV-negative individuals is inappropriate, as it implies that those of us who are infected are somehow "dirty."

Dr. Bob