Protected sex with a moneyboy

Question

Hi Damon,

I am gay, A few days ago I had a protected sex with a Money boy( who said that he is on prep) but i dont believe, everything went okay but i just realised that i used my teeth to open a package of condom. But i'm pretty sure that i carefully bit the top corner to open the package and did not see any break. Now i am worried that i would get HIV from this sexual Intercourse.

I think The condom was intact ( as i did not see anywhere broke or wrong)

I toped the guy but i ejaculated by helping myself later.

The money boy did not ejaculated at all and there was no blood seen from anywhere.

I accidentally also scratched my little cut ( from mosquito bite) at my leg and there was a little blood came out after this incident. But not sure the exact time it was scratched- could be during the incident. ( the sex worker did not ejaculate or have blood afterwards.)

So i have started PEP and wondering if i could stop. Thank you very much.

Answer

I can't tell you what to do with your body. Your decision to take PEP is completely your own. What I can tell you, however, is that there is absolutely no exposure to HIV from the encounter you are describing here.

Remember, HIV must have a route of transmission directly from one person's body into the mucous membranes of another, hence why sexual intercourse or IV drug transmission are the more common routes between adults. It cannot be transmitted through casual contact such as touching, kissing, crying, rubbing genitals, sharing utensils, sharing a toilet or shower, or naked hugging.

You describe no opportunity for HIV transmission. You topped him with a condom that remained intact. You eventually ejaculated by your own hand. Your partner did not ejaculate at all. You share no moments where blood or semen were directly deposited from one person into the other. And although I take your point about not putting your sexual health in the faith of someone else's word, his use of PrEP does mean his risk of being HIV+ himself are nearly zero.

Having a bleeding mosquito bite on your leg does not increase the chances of getting HIV. The only conceivable risk would be if someone who had HIV and was detectable bled a considerable about blood directly onto your open sore, then we might be talking about some modicum of risk. But just having an open sore while having anal sex, or afterward, does not equate risk.

My guess is that you, and so many others, are experiencing fear not as a result of sexual activity from guilt and shame. If any part of you believes sex and intimacy are bad, wrong, shameful, sick, or sinful, that you will most likely believe that HIV is a punishment for pleasure. But I do hope that by challenging these notions, and learning about HIV transmission, you will empower yourself to increase sexual satisfaction while reducing any actual risk.

Now let's also be be clear about one more thing: Escorts, massage therapists, and sex workers are not known to have a greater risk of carrying STDs than non-sex workers. In some parts of the world sex workers may be less likely to carry STIs due to the fact that they are being tested and screened more regularly than the non-sex worker population.

I hope this helps to you make decisions based in medical evidence and facts. To learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted, please visit our resource page here at The Body: http://www.thebody.com/content/30024/hiv-transmission.html