Had protected sex, but I might have Chlamydia!

Question

Hello Dr Bob, this is the 3rd time I write to you. Last week I had a PROTECTED ORAL AND VAGINAL INTERCOURSE. The condom was properly used, no leaks and certainly no break. Since yesterday I've been going to the bathroom more frequently than normal and feel a liiiittle pressure "down there". I'm afraid it could be Chlamydia and I'm TERRIFIED that HIV could have "hopped" on it. I'm desperate, I don't have much money but if I could donate a million dollars to the cause I would! Please answer my fear, I'm terrified to test. This has been my ONLY incident of sex, and it was with a prostitute. Again, EVERYTHING was protected, but I have this sensation in my penis which makes me think the worst. Thank you and God bless you!

Answer

Hi,

First of all, if your oral and vaginal sex was "protected" and the condom was used properly no leaks, no breaks your risk for HIV and Chlamydia would be nonexistent. Neither bug can permeate intact latex. No way. No how.

Second, HIV does not hop. Neither does it skip, jump, samba or do the hokey pokey.

Third, what's this nonsense about being terrified to test?!?!? If you are old enough to have nookie, you're old enough to accept the responsibilities that come along with being a grownup!

I can't diagnose exactly what's causing your "liiiittle pressure down there," but I can tell you what's not causing it: it's not Chlamydia or HIV! Stop "thinking the worst" and start thinking reasonably, OK?

Be well.

Dr. Bob