Please I need your help

Question

Hi Damon, I met a boy a month ago and we like each other very much. He told me that he was sexually active with different women but not anymore. 5 days ago he sucked and licked my nipples. This made me feel depressed. I do not know his status. I am very afraid. I had no cuts in me breast but I do not know if he had cuts or uclers in his mouth. I also heard that a woman breast has a lot of open pores(from which milk comes). AM i at risk for hiv from the guy who sucked and licked m breast. What if he had cuts of something in his mouth (which makes blood come out) and that can transmit hiv from the pores of my breast

I will be really thankfull if you answer my question. I am.really afraid.

Answer

Hi there,

For better or for worse, HIV is a very hard virus to transmit. HIV must have a route of transmission directly from the mucous membranes of one person's body into the mucous membranes of another, hence why sexual intercourse or IV drug transmission are the most common routes between adults. It cannot be transmitted through casual contact such as touching, kissing, crying, sucking nipples, licking breasts, rubbing genitals, sharing utensils, sharing a toilet or shower, or drinking liquids with diluted bodily fluids. So even if he had an ulcer or a cut in his mouth, AND if he was HIV positive with a detectable viral load, he could not transmit HIV in this way.

So based on the circumstances you described, you are at no risk for acquiring HIV. I am, however, concerned about depression you are sharing. You say it's a result of him sucking and licking your nipples, but does intimacy with another human automatically result in feeling sad and depressed? If so, I would strongly encourage you to seek out counseling and support. Consensual sexual connection is one of the greatest experiences two humans can share. But if it is mired by sadness and fear then it is much harder to savor the joy.

The other part of this for your own peace of mind is understanding how HIV and is not transmitted. Learning these medical basics can help you to make informed and pleasurable choices about how you share your body with another person. You can learn more about this on our HIV resource page here at The Body: http://www.thebody.com/content/30024/hiv-transmission.html .

I hope this information improves your mood and enables you to make decisions that help you to feel healthy connection and joyful intimacy.