Performed Oral On Uncircumcised Male No Visible Bodily Fluids

Question

I performed oral sex on an uncircumcised man approximately 8 weeks ago. We were interrupted so we were only together for a few minutes. His penis did not have any cuts, sores, etc. on it. He did not even become hard so I am uncertain if he produced any precum. There was definitely no visible signs of any of his bodily fluids. Unfortunately, I did brush my teeth approximately 15-20 minutes before this encounter. I am average to above average health with no physical issues. However, I do suffer from chronic depression and am a constant worry wart with moderate anxiety/panic attack issues. He indicated that he was completely "clean" but I did not ask for any documented proof so I took him at his word. I am scared to death because of the so called "early hiv symptoms". I developed a very itchy red rash in and immediately below both of my armpits along with some red bumps on my face and neck approximately one month (4 to 4.5 weeks) after the encounter. I am fair skinned and my skin is ULTRA sensitive. I breakout in this same area if I eat a lot of shellfish or if I take a large dose of over the counter cold medication. I had not eaten any shellfish or taken any medication between the exposure and the red rash outbreak. My skin does develop these same type red bumps all over my body but especially on my face, neck, chest, and upper back when I have been out in the heat for a long time. I had worked for two days-16+ hours-in approximately 110+ degree weather for an extended amount of time immediately before the onset of this red rash outbreak. The red rash resolved in about 3 days after I stayed indoors and cool. I then developed some pain in my left ear that migrated down right under the rear sharp edge of my left jaw and on down an inch or so into my neck. That pain started about 5.5 weeks after the exposure and resolved completely after taking some antibiotics left over from my spouses sinus infection earlier this year. I really did not think that much of it because I sleep with a fan on me at night and periodically I will get a stuffy nose that will drain to the side of my head which lays on the pillow; and this usually subsides with a hot shower or if not I'll experience the same kind of ear discomfort. Around 6 weeks post exposure I developed a "sensitive area" on my right hip. The area was just sensitive to the touch; there was no bruising, open sore, wound or other visible problem of any sort. That soreness resolved completely in a two to three days. I still did not think too much of it as I have had to perform some rather strenuous tasks lately and thought I may have simply humped my hip really hard. However, I became EXTREMELY concerned this past weekend (7.5 weeks post my exposure and 6.5 weeks post my spouses exposure-we had unprotected sex about a week after my stupid act with this man) when my spouse told me that they had had some unusual dizzy spells for roughly the last three weeks (so 3 to 3.5 weeks post potential exposure with me) and for the last two days my spouse has experienced nausea and diarrhea. I took an oral swab antibody test yesterday (8 weeks my exposure) and it yielded a negative result. But every time my spouse says anything about not feeling well I feel like my throat is closing (which has been a lot to which my throat feels dry periodically), I cannot swallow; and I feel like I am going to have the biggest melt down/panic attack. Have I infected myself and my spouse? For those of you reading this and saying, "What a dumbass!" You are correct! I am! My spouse deserves MUCH better! I love my spouse, BUT I have just done the STUPIDEST thing! Please give me your advice about my potential HIV status. And I promise myself, and my spouse, if they will keep me, to seek out professional mental health aid.

Answer

Oral sex is a safer-sex activity. Even the fact that you brushed your teeth doesn't make it a high-risk incident. Also, the duration of the incident was extremely brief. I am quite confident that transmission did not occur.

In regards to your symptoms and those of your spouse, none of them are HIV related. I think a lot of this is in your head. If you don't already, I would suggest working with a qualified mental health professional. They can help you deal with persistent and recurring thoughts like this.

If you'd feel better about it then go get tested. By eight weeks I would expect a positive result to show. If it's negative you can test again at 90 days. I'm confident that both would be negative.

In health,

Richard