need advice and importantly your karma(please) - will donate


dear dr. bob,

huge fan. appreciate your work and effort. will keep it objective so that i dont take up much time. please read through.

t minus 3 weeks: had protected vaginal and unprotected oral intercourse with a csw in thailand. she looked healthy except she had chapped lips - which she was peeling off for some reason. didnt force her. should have noticed alarm bells ringing =(. there was also naked rubbing involved (precum). i nearly put the condom inside out in the dark but realised and put it correctly before inserting. [should have used a new condom =( ]. both had shower before. woman on top and missionary.

went back home - winters.

t minus 1 week: sore throat sets alarm bells ringing. and slight neck pain (went in 2-3 days). slight headache (almost light-headed). feel more sleepy than usual.

t minus 5 days: sore throat and headache (empty head) continues/re-occurred. lower back pain. neck pain. weakness. 1 small ulcer inner cheek appears and clears up.

yesterday: sore throat, mild headache, lower back pain, weakness continue. 2 more ulcers appear inner lip and cheek and are clearing up again. notice 3-4 tiny mini-zit (dry, white) on thigh. cant notice if rash or not with the hair. thigh seems rough (not sure it was like this before).

visit doctor (MD + some fellowship). scares the shit out of me. orders all tests. tells me has a kid of my age (22) and how we take things for granted. even tells me kissing put me at risk (what BS!!). dont know whether i should show him the test results or not. atleast confirmed no swollen lymph node. yet.

today: everything continues as yesterday. plus a single folliculitis on thigh. also felt nauseous on 3-4 occasions in the last week.

will be getting all my test results. know its too early for hiv. will do that in 3 months (?)

scared as hell. it was so not worth this. i had so many things to do in life (have). cant believe i may have screwed it all. feeling super guilty in front of my parents and friends. cant imagine what will i do if tests come out negative. been the worst month of my life. didnt imagine myself saying that. from a positive guy have become totally pessimistic. cant seem to convince myself that i should have low risk, right.

please please please send some good karma my way. please

now for the questions:

  1. what are my risks for std (esp hiv)?

  2. what are the odds these symptoms are related to that? please be honest and as blunt as can be.

  3. let us assume worst case there was a small hole in the condom. what would you answer to 1 and 2?

  4. if there was some minor ulcer at t minus 3 weeks incident. what would your answer be to 1 and 2?

sorry for the long reply. i hope you understand. will make my humble donation to your foundation on

thank you so much. please answer. please remember to send good karma. could use every drop of it.

will my remaining 9 weeks be like this. please no!



  1. Unprotected insertive oral carries only a very slight risk for acquiring HIV. Other STDs can be much more readily transmitted via unprotected oral sex -- gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, chlamydia, non-gonococcal urethritis (NGU), etc. Your doctor will have screened for the most common STDs.
  1. Extremely unlikely. (By the way, I'm always honest!)

  2. Condoms don't have small holes.

  3. Unchanged.

Take a read through the archives of this forum. You will find many testimonials and stories similar to yours. You should find this information both enlightening and reassuring.

Thanks for your support of The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return (and as requested), I'm sending my good-luck karma that your definitive three-month HIV-antibody test is negative.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob