Having recently moved I am now unpacking and you know that one box we all have with pictures, notes, etc. from our ex's? Every couple years or so you'll open that box, because you remember how happy you were at that moment in time, and you need to read the notes to reassure yourself you are still that same person, that you are still loveable and deserve love again.
Now, if it was a bad break-up, any and all notes were destroyed, ripped up or burned. The memories faded and forgotten. Though, I think we all have that one person we'd like to know about today, how are they, what path in life did they choose, are they married, single, with kids or not? How might life have been if you stayed together, re-kindled your relationship? Maybe the break up was for the best? Maybe you just didn't know at the time.
The notes can be a reminder of your maturity or immaturity at that point in your life. The notes that were so reflective then, may be relevant to your situation today.
Today I opened "that box" and found a series of cards and notes and a Valentine's Day card from 2003 and every one I read I choked up, every one I read could be something written for me today. Honestly, since being infected with HIV and HCV these notes have as much value now as they did then. In the spirit of love and Valentine's Day I share with you these notes and encourage you to look up that one love you still think about, open that box this Valentine's Day. Billy -- you will ALWAYS occupy a space in my heart.
Valentine's Day 2003
"Kevin, You still make me feel like I felt when we met. I look at you and still see the same person I have fallen in love with. I think of you and still feel like I could do anything ... and when we are together, I still want to feel you close to me, to hold your hand, to make you smile. I know I will always feel this way, always be in love with you, and always want you for my Valentine. I love you, Billy."
April 5th, 2004
"Kevin, the generous, loving things you do and say are so much a part of you that sometimes I neglect to point out how much I appreciate each and every one. But I do. You'd probably be amazed to realize all the things I notice ... like the caring energy you put into keeping all of our everyday things running smoothly, the patient way you take things in stride when something comes up, and the upbeat way you approach whatever it is that each day brings us ... and you still find the time to let me know how much I am loved. You do all of these things so naturally that I've come to count on them. I am one lucky guy, and I wont let me forget it. Today I want you to see it spelled out and make sure you know it, too. Happy Anniversary, love Billy."
June 12th, 2003
"Kevin, I'm so happy for you and for all the things you have accomplished to get here (Fort Lauderdale) and especially for being able to be a part of it ... good luck to you and all your future endeavors, with love, Billy."
Sept 12th, 2003 (my birthday)
"I believe in the things that are important to you and in the way you choose to live your life ... I believe that you can accomplish anything you set out to do because you have many talents and the wisdom to use them all well. I believe that you have what it takes to overcome obstacles, and to grow from every experience life brings your way. I believe in your courage, your compassion, your integrity, and your strength. I believe in your goodness and in your love for me. I believe in you ... just because, with lots of love."
Congratulations on your new life and on all of your accomplishments ... go confidently into the direction of your dreams! Live the life you always imagined ... (Thomas Thoreau).
Sept 12, 2004 (my birthday)
"Kevin, I am so happy to be a large part of your 26th year and anxious to help make your 27th extra special, with lots of love, Billy."
You may also read my remembrances of my ex Billy and see pictures of us here in a previous blog entry I wrote.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone in the WORLD today; may you only know happiness, love, and peace in the year ahead.