After 20+ years of marriage, my husband announced May 29 that he is gay. I know he was engaging in gay sex before this. We last had sex in April 2006. I was tested in May (everything fine) and again today six months later. How long must I be tested to make sure I do not have HIV? THANKS! I am a mess.
Well, if you knew he was engaging in gay sex before, at least his May 29 announcement shouldn't have been a total surprise, right? Say, you're not Mrs. "Reverend" Ted Haggard, president of the National Association of Evangelicals, are you?????? I just read about him in today's New York Times. Apparently as one of the most influential "Christian" leaders busy condemning "the homosexual lifestyle" and advocating passage of an amendment to the United States Constitution to ban same-sex unions, he is also alleged to be involved in a three-year sexual relationship with a male prostitute and to use crystal methamphetamine! Hmmm. Looks like another right wing religious zealot hypocrite bites the dust (among other things)! But hopefully this wing-nut tweaker is not your husband!
Regarding HIV screening, your negative tests out to six months are definitive and conclusive. No further tests are warranted or necessary. You are HIV negative.
If you are really "a mess," consider getting some counseling. As difficult as this situation is right now, "coming out" and not living a lie is always the right thing to do for all involved. Just ask the oh-so-reverend Haggard!