A little rubbing + a little wetness = a lot of fear.


Hi Dr. Bob,

Thanks again for the great resource and taking the time to answer what are mainly unwarranted fears.

I wish my story had a bit more of an exotic feel to it, such as occurring in a brothel in Thailand, or wondering if aliens regularly disinfect their probes.. perhaps I can twist it a little for the sake of reader interest forget it, i'm a poor liar - it happened in a bedroom of a middle class home in suburbia.

3 weeks ago I was fooling around with a girl of unknown status that I'm dating. We were getting ready to have sex and she was lying on her stomach on the bed. I was lying on top of her back and rubbing my penis up and down in between her legs against her vagina (basically the old hot dog in a bun trick). This lasted for a minute or two and when I started feeling her getting really wet, we stopped. Because of my position I was driving blind and couldn't see where I was navigating. I definitely know that there wasn't any deep penetration, but the head of my penis was wet with vaginal fluid, so I'm unsure if that means I dipped in very slightly or if that was just from rubbing. We then had protected sex with a condom.

Two days ago (3 weeks later) I woke up sick and feeling awful with the flu - fatigue, general achiness/uncomfortable, no appetite, mild headache, and light sensitivity and eye pain when I looked around. No congestion, no rash, no sore throat, no alarming lymph nodes. I sure felt like I had a fever the first day as I had chills, but didn't have any sweats like you normally would with a fever. I didn't have access to a thermometer, but the next day was able to take my temperature and it was normal, though I'm still feeling just as bad. I'm on day 3, still just as achy and feeling like I have the flu (though with a regular temperature).

I'm worrying out of my mind here and I wish I could put it aside, but it's hard when I'm feeling like this.

Dr. Bob, what I'm wondering is:

  1. Since I did get a fair amount of vaginal fluid on the head of my penis (which means there may have been a very brief entry, what is the risk level of this potential "exposure" - is it something that I should be worried about?

  2. Do the symptoms sound like ARS? Would ARS normally have a prolonged fever present the whole time that you are feeling unwell?

Also, do aliens regularly disinfect their probes? And if so, do they boil them or apply an alcohol based sanitizer?

(Maybe) The Little Dipper


Hello Little Dipper,

The brothel in Thailand ("banging cock in Bangkok") stories are now so common they are not the least bit exotic.

Now aliens with anal probes are somewhat more entertaining, depending on what the aliens look like (and perhaps the size and shape of the probe). However, sex in the bedroom of a middle class home in suburbia is extremely rare and very exotic. Does it really still happen? WOW!

OK, on to your questions:

  1. If you did dip, the estimated per-act statistical risk for acquiring HIV is 5 per 10,000 exposures to a partner confirmed HIV infected. Obviously your estimated statistical risk would be significantly less, because we don't know the HIV status of your gal-pal with the soggy hotdog buns. If you dipped, you should get an HIV test at the three-month mark. The odds are astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this suburban sex-a-thon.
  1. "Symptoms" are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and is not HIV infected. Fever is present in approximately 96% of cases of ARS.

Alien probes are not disinfected, because they are single use only. Come on, everyone knows that! They usually leave them stuck in their probees when they return them to earth. I have quite a collection of them that forum regulars have sent me as gifts over the years. Eventually I will turn them over to the Smithsonian (or agents Scully or Mulder), but not quite yet.

Dr. Bob