I would like to hear your opinion

Question

Dear Dr. BOB,

First of all I would like to tell you that each time I read your comments it gives me hope and makes me laugh. Believe me that if you were in front of me I would had hugged you a big hug :D. In fact I already sent to you my email twice but you did not replied to me. Please reply to my email I cant sleep I am so worried.

I come from the Middle East where talking about Homosexuality and HIV is VERY TABOO, RISKY and could lead to DEATH. PLEASE ANSWER MY EMAIL DOCTOR.

Here's the story:

I am a male of 24 yrs olds I performed an oral sex on a male of 21 years old that I don't know his serological status. In fact I had pre-cum in my mouth, but I split them directly, plus I did oral sex on him twice that night "but no ejaculation occurred in the mouth". I had no mouth problems, except for a throat a little bit red but no white spots on it.

Moreover, we did some skin friction a bit meaning that he slept on me from the back while he was nude and erected and did some movements that touched my anus but NO penetration occurred, There was some pre-cum on my anus, but most probably nothing entered through the anus (or maybe it did). Plus when I removed him he fingered me while there was some pre-cum, but he couldn't enter his entire finger because it wasn't wet enough if you know what I mean? I am really nervous and anxious. I know that pre-cum can transmit HIV but am I at a high risk? I cannot stop thinking that I got HIV, I have the feeling that viruses are circulating in my blood :s. although the guy looked clean and he told me that he always used condom during his other relations. Plus he told me that he got tested 3 months ago and it was negative but he did 3 relations afterward with condom. So hed never know if he got something from those relations. I am really scared, PLEASE HELP.

3 weeks later I got a sore throat with swollen tonsillitis, the right one had some white spots but after 5 days it went away while taking ADVIL but tonsillitis are still swollen. I did not get any fever or skin rashes and hope not to get any or I will commit suicide.

PLEASE DOCTOR tell me what are my risks? Am I going to have HIV?

I am really sorry for this long story, but I am really scared and anxious.

Thank you for taking the time to read and answer my email. PLEASE HELP.

God bless you and help me too

Answer

Hi Middle East Guy,

Are you at high risk? No, you are not. Unprotected oral sex carries only a very, very low risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. Frottage (body rubbing without penetration) is not considered to be a risk for HIV transmission.

Your symptoms are not worrisome for HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS).

Are you going to have HIV? It is statistically extremely unlikely at best.

Your comments about committing suicide if you get a fever or rash are worrisome and somewhat insensitive to those of us who struggle to live with this virus on a daily basis. You report that reading my comments gives you hope. If I had decided to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge or commit hari-kari when the virus found me in January 1991, I wouldn't be here today to respond to your question. Suicide is never the answer.

That HIV and homosexuality are "very taboo" in your part of the world must change. Change occurs when we demand it. Discrimination due to a viral illness (or sexual orientation) is morally reprehensible. Begin talking to your friends, family and colleagues. Build support to fight against these unjust taboos! Education and knowledge can overcome fear and myth.

Regarding your HIV status, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The odds are all in your favor that you did not contract the virus from the activities detailed in your question.

Good luck. I'm here if you need me. But knock off the suicide talk, OK? I find it offensive.

Dr. Bob