Is lap dancing, even if the dancer rubs her genital area (clothed by a thong, g-string, or t-back) against the genital area of a clothed customer safe? Do vaginal secretions from the dancers usually permeate through their underwear and get onto the customers' pants? Is this risky if the fluids permeate through the customers' underwear or to their penises? What if a man accidently, or intentionally, precums or fully comes during a lap dance? Can the semen then easily mix with vaginal fluids left on the surface of the pants, especially if some residue fromt he semen permeates through the pants, and allow easier access for the vaginal fluids to reach the penis by possibly mixing with the semen? Should someone get tested for HIV and other STDs after getting a lap dance? Thank You for your response.
There have been many questions answered in this forum about lap dancing and HIV transmission. Please read through the Transmission (Non-sexual) archives of this forum for more questions like yours.
There is no evidence that anyone has ever been infected by ONLY receiving a lap dance (meaning that there was no oral, anal, or vaginal sex involved). This is a crucial factor in evaluating your risk.
Ultimately, what you call the activity you engage in isn't nearly as important as what actually happens. If fluids that are potentially infected with HIV (semen and pre-semen, vaginal/cervical secretions, blood) come into contact with your bloodstream or mucous membranes (the lining of the anus, vagina, urethra, or mouth) then there is an opportunity for infection. Sexual transmission occurs through anal, vaginal, or oral sex. You can come up with all sorts of scenarios, but if these factors aren't met, then infection can't happen.
It sounds like you are obssessing with details and possibilities. This may be a sign that you have some negative feelings about the lap dancing activity you engage in. Ask yourself how you feel about getting lap dances. Do you feel guilt? Does it conflict with your values or beliefs? Are your thoughts or feelings about it causing you discomfort? Do you feel out-of-control or like you want to stop, but can't?
There is nothing wrong with getting a lap dance. It can actually be a safe and healthy way to get off. How you feel about it is a different story. Seek out some counseling or other support to talk about your feelings if you can't stop worrying about HIV.