Just found out man I'm dating is on Atroiza

Question

I have been dating a man for almost 2 years now and found hat he is using atroiza. What are the chances that I could get the virus?

Answer

Thanks for writing.

There are several important issues to consider here. As far as your chances of seroconverting, if your partner is consistently taking his medication and if his viral load is undetectable, there is NO chance that you could get the virus. Knowing his viral load is.

Of course you can protect yourself with condoms, although I understand that being with someone for two years means that trust has been established (more on that in a second). I'm not sure what country you live in but if PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is available I would suggest that you take it. It is an HIV medication (Truvada) that prevents seroconversion. In any case, you should get tested so you know your status for certain, and create an ongoing testing plan (for example every three months).

Finally, you and your partner need to have some serious discussions. It is inexcusable, in my opinion, for someone not to disclose their HIV status - especially after such a long period of time. I understand that because of fear, stigma and rejection many people are reluctant to do this, but you have a right to know, even if he is undetectable.

This has created a major violation of trust in your relationshiop that needs to be addressed or it will undermine both your level of emotional intimacy (if not sexual) and the ability to further deepen your relationship. I have found that such discussions are usually best handled when they can be moderated by a trusted person, a counselor, or your doctor.

All the best,

David