hello, how are you? first i'd like to say that i really admire you and your website. im so paranoid and im hoping that you can ease my fears. in august i had a few oral sex encounters in which i received ; DIDN'T GIVE. there isn't much information on here regarding the risks for a female when she receives cunnilingus. i received oral sex from a guy who's been with alot of girls. he fingered me first and i was scared he may have cut me while fingering me. i didn't see any visible blood in his mouth but there was alot of saliva present. a few weeks after that i had two oral encounters with a guy friend. he fingered me and then ate me out. i am not 100% sure of his status. a month later i got bad bronchitis. all year i just haven't felt myself. these events occured in august. everyone is telling me that im being paranoid and i have nothing to worry about. i spoke to my gyno and he told me that no woman has ever acquired HIV from being eaten out. He said the primary concern in herpes. I don't know bob, maybe this is just guilt and anxiety manifesting itself into paranoia but im really scared. he scratched me when fingered me and right after that he ate me out. Do i have a reason to be worried? it's hard to find answers online because all questions regard men receiving oral or giving it. maybe i am the only woman who's concerned about this? i am very nervous and im hoping you can ease my fears and i can finally put this to rest. i didn't give oral i only received. do i have anything to be worried about or am i being paranoid? please let me know, thankyou so much.
ps. i would like to make a donation soon. yeah we definitely need more information on here regarding the risks for a woman.
Although guys do tend to submit more questions than gals, I can assure you there is indeed plenty of women-specific info in the archives! (See below.)
The HIV-transmission risk for receptive cunnilingus is essentially nonexistent, except if there are extenuating circumstances, such as fresh blood to fresh blood. Should you be worried? No, not based on actual risk. However, since you are worried, I would suggest the most efficient and effective way for you to put these irrational fears permanently to rest would be to get a single HIV rapid test. Accurate results are available in as few as 20 minutes. Your test will undoubtedly be negative.
Thanks for your donation (www.concertedeffort.org) to help others in desperate need. In return I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma that your definitive HIV test is negative as I strongly suspect it will be and that your unwarranted worries soon evaporate.
+woman/-man risks--Please help! I need some sex! Mar 29, 2006
Hi. I am a woman and my potential partner is a - man. I read in a magazine at my doctors office that the risk of infection for a neg man from a pos woman is ridiculously low with both vaginal intercourse and oral sex, assuming no sores, rough play, etc.. I was diagnosed about 6 months ago w/ AIDS (not just HIV) but I am now healthy my viral load in undetectable.
Specifically, how safe is oral sex without protection--me giving it to him, him giving it to me, assuming, again, no sores, cuts, vampire action going on?
Also, I realize the infection risks are very low for sex if we are careful w/ condoms, and I have already read the other responses and can see that oral risk is low too, but can you reccommend a place I can get actual statistics? Or can you just tell me? Because although this question may have already been answered, I have not been able to find it in this forum or the mixed couples forums or any other on this website. I have already searched. And searched. And searched.
I have found conflicting info on this website--yes I have--and whenever I almost find what I'm looking for, in the end you guys say "search blah blah blah forum". Which, again, I already have. I have spend hours, days, months searching and I am about to have a breakdown! Your advise seems closest to what I need. Besides sex. Please help!
Response from Dr. Frascino
I would not agree with what you read in that magazine pertaining to the risk of an HIV-negative guy contracting HIV from an HIV-positive woman through (unprotected) vaginal sex. "Ridiculously low???" What???
As for your searching and searching and not finding information about estimated HIV-transmission risk, I can't believe you were searching all that hard. I just did a quick search and located about a gazillion posts with the information clearly spelled out. But, nonetheless, here it is once again:
- Latex condoms are protective for all types of sex if used properly and they don't fail. HIV cannot penetrate, permeate or cha-cha-cha through intact latex. No way. No how.
The estimated per-act risk for acquisition of HIV from unprotected insertive penile-vaginal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 5 per 10,000 exposures. (This is not "ridiculously low" by any standard!)
The estimated per-act risk for the acquisition of HIV from unprotected insertive oral sex (i.e. HIV person performing oral sex on HIV- man) is 0.5 per 10,000 exposures.
There are no published estimated-risk statistics for cunnilingus. The risk is extremely small. You can read my comments about that in the post from the archives (below).
Finally, regarding "actual statistics," please note what we are quoting are estimates based on epidemiological studies. The best way to think about HIV risk is to first decide if there is a risk and if so, then to decide if the risk is high (unprotected receptive anal), medium (unprotected vaginal) or low (oral sex). To get more detailed than that isn't really all that helpful.
However, if you insist on fact and figures, I'd suggest you review the HIV InSite Knowledge Base chapter on safer sex. It has over 124 references and lots of statistics for you to ponder. The site can be accessed at http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite?page=kb-07-02-02.
If that doesn't satisfy your info quest, I suggest you "search blah, blah, blah forum," OK?
Tested today. Alone and need some one to talk too. (CUNNILINGUS)
Mar 5, 2007
Hey bob, your the best! Well i finally did it, went today and was tested for all sti's including HIV. Im studying in another country and have no one to share the stress of this with. Heres my story...... A few of months ago i performed unprotected cunnilingus. Stupid now i know but i thought this was a safe practice at the time. It lasted for a mere 45 seconds at most. A couple of days later, i came down with chills,which subsided within a day or so. I also had a chesty cough and swollen glands under my chin, which lasted for a week at most. I thought nothing of it at the time as i had just started college and everyone i knew was down with the flu. Then 2 weeks ago (a few months after my exposure) i had some unusual white discharge after urination. This got me worried about gonorrhea and chlamydia, ive been to the toilet several times since and nothing! Anyways today i went to my local clinic in order to put my fears at rest. I honestly didnt think they would test for HIV, but they said i should, so i went along with it. This has got me rather spooked to say the least. My questions are- 1-What do you think my chances of catching HIV from this one off brief exposure? What are my chances of dodging the HIV bullet Dr Bob? Secondly do you think the one episode of discharge indicates gonorrhea or chlamydia? Can symptoms appear month later and only occur the once? Im making a donation to your wonderful cause, will you please send me your goodluck karma in return! Thank you, stay well, Ewan
Response from Dr. Frascino
I'll proceed directly to your specific questions:
Negligible (see below).
Probably not, but you're getting tested anyway, so you'll have a definitive answer very soon.
Good luck karma signed, sealed and sent.
Be well. Stay well!
Tonsils and Oral Sex (CUNNILINGUS) Sep 30, 2006
You are definitely a person admirable character. I have just donated $50 to your wonderful foundation. I wish I could afford more at this time, but money is very tight on my end with my graduate school studies. Like everyone else, I have a question for you.
I performed unprotected oral sex on a woman of unknown status about 2 weeks ago. I purposely avoided unprotected intercourse because of its risk. However, I am know concerned about this oral sex episode. I have recently developed enlarged tonsils and my tests for sterp have been negative. I have a sore throat which is understandable, but no other symptoms. I have tried to use your past answers of similar exposures to help ease my anxiety. But there is just something about hearing it directly from you.
Have you ever seen a person with whose only exposure was unprotected oral sex on a woman test positive for HIV?
I hope that your good health will continue to remain. I promise I shall make another donation later on this year.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Unprotected cunnilingus on a woman of unknown HIV serostatus carries only a negligible risk for HIV transmission. (See below.)
To answer your specific question, nope!
Thanks for your kind comments and donation.
Stop worrying! If you can't stop worrying, get tested at the three-month mark, but do realize the primary reason to do so would be to put your unwarranted fears permanently to rest, OK?
Good luck. Stay well.
Oral Sex and HIV
Feb 18, 2006
i have just stumbled on this site, and would like your opinion, on jan 1st 2006 i had protected vaginal sex with a prostitute, but i performed unprotected oral sex on her, before i performed she whiped her virgina and when performing oral sex i could taste no secretion or menstural blood, immediately afterwards i realised what a rediculous thing i had done and became increasingly paranoid about the possibility of HIV infection, on the 3rd of Jan i started on 28 PEP course, what do you think my chances of having HIV are, alot of other sites i have been on say Cunnilingus is Low risk, some say no risk, quantatively what is this risk? i am due to go for an HIV test at the end of march and am petrified of the result, many thanks
Response from Dr. Frascino
She "whiped her virgina?" Would that be "whiped" as in whipped or "whiped" as in wiped? And would that be "virgina" as in Virginia or "virgina" as in vagina? I would assume "whipped" and "Virginia" are out, because nothing kinky ever happens in that state. The risk of HIV transmission from cunnilingus is extremely low. I'll post a question from the recent archives that addresses this problem. (See below.)
I do not believe PEP was warranted for your potential exposure. There is no reason to be "petrified" of your HIV test results. I see nothing but good news heading in your direction. I suggest you begin practicing your WOO-HOOs!
Cunnilingus - no blood, good oral healt Jan 12, 2006
Dear Dr. Bob,
Just sent a donation of 200 dollares - thanks fo you help - people need it and now i feel i need too
You had answered a number of questions related to the risk of cunnilingus. I was engaged in one 2 months ago but no blood was involved and my oral helth is ok. The experience was with the mistress and when i asked her afterwards she told me she is DD free .What concerns me that you mentioned once that the probability of getting HIV in this case 0.5 per 10000 cases. doest it mean that there is 1 possible transmission in 20000 cases. a number of cunnilinguses given is much more then that and there are no documented cases so far. How do these 2 things reconcile?
I am still concerned although i understand i should not be....you know...
How is it possible generally to get HIV via giving cunnilingus in case when there is no blood and my oral health seems to be in order. Appreciate your reply.
I have another general question re the symptoms...
It seems that in case there are symptoms there are ususally more then one should be present based on the statistics you posted earlier.
Appreciate your reply
Thanks for the help
Response from Dr. Frascino
The estimated statistical per-episode risk of 0.5 per 10,000 exposures for unprotected oral intercourse refers to fellatio (oral sex performed on a man), not cunnilingus. The cunnilingus figure would be much less. In fact, it's so small it's difficult to quantitate. There are only very few cases of HIV transmission resulting from performing oral sex on a woman that have been reported to the CDC. Considering we've been monitoring this epidemic for over two decades, that alone is excellent evidence that the HIV-transmission risk through cunnilingus is extremely low. There are a number of scientific hypotheses as to why this is true, but the bottom line remains the same: it's an extremely low-risk activity. (Note: the risk increases if the woman is menstruating and/or the person performing cunnilingus has oral mucous membrane sores, abrasions or inflammation.)
Regarding your second question, ARS can be quite variable in scope, number and severity of symptoms. However, yes, generally more than a single symptom is present.
Thanks for your generous donation!
Update from Tonsils and Oral Sex (Cunnilingus) Dec 14, 2006
Thanks for responding to my previous question entitled Tonsils and Oral Sex (CUNNILINGUS). May I woohoo based on the following tests and events:
Week 2: Oraquick Negative Week 7: Oraquick Negative Week 9: Oraquick Negative Night after test, fever of 101.3 and horrible earache Week 12 (86 days): Oraquick Negative
I have not had any other exposures since my unprotected cunnilingus episode. So I will ask again. Do I have your blessing on woohooing?
P.S. I plan on sending a donation to your organization once I get paid at the end of this week.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Your week 2, 7 and 9 tests were encouraging, but not WOO-HOOable. However, your negative week-12 OraQuick allows you a full-throated, ferociously committed, screaming-banshee-type WOOOOO-HOOOOO!
Thanks for your donation (www.concertedeffort.org).
Happy WOO-HOOing Holidays to you, too!