I'm a married HIV+ woman. One of my doctors has told me that for me to give
my (HIV-) husband a blow job without a condom is not dangerous. Is this true?
At the present we use condoms when I go down on him and a dental dam when he
goes down on me. My mouth is very healthy (no cavities!) and without
Hi. Thank you for your question.
If your husband is receiving oral sex from you, he is only being exposed to
your saliva, and nobody has ever been infected from saliva. Nobody has ever
been infected from kissing either! Keep in mind however that he can get
other sexually transmitted diseases (like herpes) by receiving oral sex
(assuming you have oral herpes, more commonly known as "cold sores"). But as
far as HIV is concerned, receiving oral sex is extremely low risk.
Do keep in mind however that if your husband were to have HIV or other
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's) such as gonorrhea and syphilis, this
could be transmitted to you, and clinically, this could be very harmful and
serious to you. So if there's any chance that he has HIV or other STD's,
it's still important that you use protection for giving him oral sex--not
because of his risks, but because of yours.
If he is giving you oral sex, there is a risk of infection to him since your
vaginal secretions and menstrual blood can get into his mouth. The more of
these body fluids he's exposed to, the greater the risk of infection there
would be. If he has any open sores, cuts, abrasions, or gum disease in his
mouth, the virus can get into his bloodstream. The risk is less than vaginal
or anal intercourse, but the risk is real, and transmission can occur. There
have already been reported cases of HIV infection specifically through giving
oral sex. In addition to HIV, while giving oral sex, he could also be at risk
for other Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's) including herpes and
gonorrhea (assuming you have other STD's).
You had mentioned that you were using dental dams when he was giving you oral
sex. Although this will protect him against HIV and other STD's, another
alternative is to use saran/plastic wrap, which will also protect him. This
is widely available, inexpensive, is clear, and has no taste to it. So you
may want to try this if you wish.
If you have further questions, please e-mail me at "firstname.lastname@example.org" or call me at 1-800-842-AIDS.