HIV risk from fingering and oral sex (possibility of false negative?)

Question

Hi, I'm a 21 year old heterosexual male, I had an experience in a strip club about two years ago, when I fingered one of the ladies. I have no idea of her HIV status, but I notice that I didn't have any cuts in my fingers. 40 minutes later I went home and wash my hands, but I didn't use soap (I was drunk) and I drank some water with my hands. Fast forward to about 169 days later, I took an HIV test and resulted negative.

After that, I moved to Asia, I felt safe and started a relationship with a local girl that I knew for about one year. We never had sexual intercourse, but she gave me oral sex (I didn't gave her oral sex) and I fingered her a few times, all of them without protection.

The relationship ended about five months, but lately I've been feeling uneasy and anxious about the possibility of a false negative or the possibility of (once again) transmission of HIV. I know that is foolish to made the same mistake twice, but I have trust in this girl, and I always checked my fingers before and after fingering.

I'm aware that all I describe to you is considered as a very low risk activity, but I would like to know if you consider that I should take another test.

Thank you for your time

Answer

Thanks for your question,

It sounds like you already have a good intuition on what your risk is. You can not get HIV from fingering someone (unless there are very excessive open wounds on your fingers, which you clearly state that there wasn't).

The risk for getting HIV from oral sex is also a very low risk activity, as you said. To be absolutely sure and to ease your mind from that time, getting tested sounds like a good idea. We recommend that all sexually active individuals get tested for HIV/STDs on a regular basis anyway. In the future, you should definitely (if you don't already) talk with each of your sex partners about what their status is and the last time they were tested.

I can understand some of your anxiety, you're concerned about your health and status, but there's nothing wrong with having sex in (or out) of a relationship. From what you're telling me, you are starting to take control of the situation by getting tested and waiting the right amount of time! By talking about status with sex partners BEFORE sex you can get more in control of the situation.

Hope this helps! If after reading this information, you still feel uneasy after sex (which includes fingering) maybe it would help to find people in your life that you trust to share some of your feelings. This can be friends, family, your doctor, or a counselor. Talking about it really helps!

Erik