Hello there, readers. I wanted to share my thoughts with you on the Supreme Court decision this past June 26, 2015. I am filled with encouragement because there is advancement in the gay community and it can only get better! That is encouraging for future generations who will benefit from the hard work of past pioneers who paved the way for absolute equality. GREAT WORK!!!
My best friend, who I've known since 1987, is like a brother to me. He is bisexual and he showed me his world by talking me into traveling to San Francisco in August of 1988. We hopped into an orange 1971 Ford Pinto and headed south out of Portland, Oregon. This poor little car didn't quite make it. I believe we broke down in Concord, Calif., then we took the BART train into S.F. to see what the city had to offer.
They had everything there! I was into the meth scene in those days, sharing needles and having unprotected sex with women that you didn't bring home to mom. My drug habit was out of control. For those of you who understand addiction, you know that common sense goes out the window when you just want to get high. Safety precautions are not a priority.
Looking back, it was really stupid of me to do what I did. I have asked myself, if I had it to do over again, what would I have done different? I would have been safe about the choices I made by using clean needles and condoms. All of my experiences in life have contributed to who I am today. Ending up HIV positive and in prison has happened for a reason. What is that you ask? Darned if I really know, but I believe it has taught me humility, patience and other valuable qualities. Dealing with the ignorance of people who fear my illness has given me an opportunity to be an informational resource for them to ask questions, and ease their fears and misunderstanding about HIV.
At one point in prison I was Red Cross certified to be a peer educator for HIV. I hope to one day join the movement outside in the free world. I guess I kinda am by writing this. My intent is activism. I hear it doesn't pay very well, but I don't care. I just want the discrimination of human beings to end altogether because this world has too much pain in it. Let's heal ourselves instead of figuring out how to cause one another more harm because we are suffering.
You would think that because I have been in prison longer than someone who has committed murder that I would be filled with hatred and bitterness. Quite the opposite really. I am writing this to help myself heal internally. I've caused a lot of mental anguish and emotional pain to several people. Hopefully my words might reach the ears of those who I've wronged and they will see the words I have written and get some closure. I've gone through my own hell that no one else should have to suffer through.
Many years ago, I blamed others for my problems and refused to accept any responsibility for anything. After many years of therapy and self reflection I have no problem still blaming others. Just kidding! "My name is Tim and I have issues and I take complete ownership." See, people in prison do change. Too bad that decisions we make when we are young with undeveloped brains impact us for the rest of our lives. If this was a video game I'd hit the reset button to start over. Wouldn't you do that too?
I would like to ask you a question: If you could go back in time to change just one thing, what would that be? I'd be interested in hearing your answers. If you'd like, you can check me out on www.accesscorrections.com to set up an email account for direct contact with me. I'd be happy to write back!
Stay healthy and stay safe!
Send Tim an e-mail.