I have just met the man of my dreams. I love him dearly but am worried about HIV. He is 27 years old and has been HIV+ for about 6 years (I am HIV-). He is really strict with his medications and has been "undetectable" for about 4 years. We have not had anal sex, only oral sex and he never cums in my mouth.
I have read that it is less likely to catch HIV from people that are have undectable viral loads, but how much less likely is it?
Unfortunately we don't have any hard statistics to report. What we can with great confidence state is that with an undetectable HIV plasma viral load the risk of HIV transmission is "significantly" reduced. This finding is so impressive that it is being used as a harm-reduction strategy by many magnetic couples (one poz, one neggie): the poz partner begins treatment even though the current when-to-start treatment guidelines don't indicate he should do so.
I suggest you and your Mr. Mc-Wet-dreamy read through the section in the archives on magnetic couples. You might discuss with your studmuffin's HIV doctor what to do in case of an accidental exposure (condom breaks). The specialist may well arrange for you to have a starter dose of PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) on hand for just such an unfortunate occurrence.
Finally, as you may or may not know, I too am part of a magnetic couple. Steve (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos Forum) is HIV-negative and I've been virally enhanced for over 17 years. I can assure you HIV has not inhibited our toe-curling, own-name-forgetting, wake-the-neighbors bouts of passion nor our happily-every-after existence. I wish the same passion and happiness for you and your Mr. Right. Remember, opposites attract!