i am 62 Kg male , suffered from homosexuality for over 8 years, I traveled to another country trying to reorient my sexual orientation into straight case but i couldn't continue because i hadn't enough money, but i wished to , I suffered from many disease I suffered from many diseases Including hepatitis pneumonia A, pubic lice and i was subjected to rape into anal sex 4 years ago and it led to the bleaching of the tongue and hear the voices in my nerves and rattle in my bones, it also led me to make surgery of restoration of the anus.I analyzed my blood 3 times after 3 months was hiv negative. I have a cruel life and no friends , I suffer from depression is extremely severe. And reached the stage of suicide, but I know this goes against my faith. I do masturbation alone twice a day over 2 years. Months ago I suffered from the bitterness in my throat and my mouth since 2 weeks I was so depressed and I did soft sex Two weeks ago and I suffer swelling in my mouth and my heart beating rate accelerated and the pangs in my body and sweat time in the night, but my body still hurts and my tongue and I feel bleaching and tingling .sometimes Inflammation in penis without rash but i got small area small pink-orange rash in chest but no fever, I am so afraid and I am taking herbals such as turmeric curcumin and honey,propolis,ginger,gensing,vitamin c Zinc,Omega 3 once I got diarrhea then it gone, my mouth-throat still pain with phlegm and my body and my nerves I feel like ants walking in my skull . one time i couldn't sleep I want help , I want to put off my homosexuality , I don't want to die :( , I want to know are these symptoms means HIV infection or herpes or what is the things that are moving in my body wich cause sounds of ants walking ?
Sexual orientation, gay or straight, cannot be changed, no matter how much time, energy or money you expend trying to "reorient!" Please note, there is no medical reason for you to deny your sexual orientation. Homosexuality is completely normal. It is not an abnormality or an illness that needs to be changed or cured! I agree you are severely depressed. I would strongly suggest you see a psychiatrist to help you with sexual orientation issues, depression and anxiety. Your symptoms are not consistent with HIV, but rather are very consistent with anxiety. If indeed you were sexually assaulted (anal rape), you should get follow-up HIV screening at three and six months. That your three-month test is negative is very encouraging.
Don't delay contacting a psychiatrist for help. It's the first step back to both physical and mental well-being.