My head just imploded

Question

Alas, it has come to this by searching the archives for an answer to my question. Have written twice before, and know that when the word TOILET is used, the entire universe emits a snicker and moves on... HOWEVER - I HAVE NOT FOUND THE SAME SITUATION ANYWHERE, SO PLEASE HELP! To recap - used public restroom, wiped light-colored blood speck and urine spray off toilet seat, and then STUPIDLY used SAME toilet paper to wipe myself. Did said stupid act while having massive yeast infection. Please help! Cant find anyone that has wiped themselves with same paper they wiped bloody toilet seat with! What to do???

Answer

Hello,

Massive yeast infection, wiping yourself with blood-specked urine-sprayed toilet paper in a public restroom and your head just imploded??? My, my, my, you really are having a bad day, aren't you? So you "can't find anyone who has wiped themselves with some paper they wiped bloody toilet seat with" in the archives? Gee, I wonder why??

Stop fretting! Your risk is nonexistent. HIV doesn't live very long outside the body. The chances of your getting HIV-infected blood into you via this route are so infinitesimally small as to be nonexistent. So now that "the entire universe is (once again) emitting a snicker," we'll all move on . . . .

Stay well.

Dr. Bob