getting rid of HIV

Question

Hi Dr. Bob

If I beefed off (referrence to jerking off) for like 24 hours straight would it be possible to beef all the HIV out of my body,eradicating the virus.

Do you like to beef off?

Answer

Hello,

You plan to "beef-off" for 24 hours straight??? WOW, I haven't heard about action like that since the last time the Oh-So-Reverend Ted "I'm Not Gay Anymore" Haggert spent the night at a Baptist Boys' sleep-away camp.

Sorry Mr. Hot 'n' Horny. No matter how much time your trouser snake spends spitting, it's not going to cure your HIV infection. Can you imagine if the cure really was something as enjoyable as repeatedly burping the nephew?

Believe it or not, even a question as whacked as yours about non-stop whacking has been addressed before in the archives. Have a look below! But wash those sticky fingers first, OK?

Dr. Bob

Serious question about HIV and masturbation Aug 20, 2006

Please take this as a sincere question. I was recently diagnosed with HIV (about one month ago). I'm pondering ways of keeping my viral load down as long as possible to stay off medication, if possible. How effective, if at all, could frequent masturbation be at reducing the viral load in my body? I figure each ejaculation is ridding my body of at least some, so if I did it 5 times a day, I'm curious if there'd be any benefit to my overall viral load. It might sound silly but thought I'd at least ask.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You want to burp the nephew five times a day every day???? Hold on a minute, Spunky. I think we need to check your current Viagra dose.

Dude, you can spank your monkey as often as you wish, but unfortunately this will not affect the level of HIV in your body. The virus can reproduce 10 billion times per day on average. So that would mean you'd have to wank off more often than all the horned up boys combined at Pastor Gay-No-More's Baptist Sleep-Away Camp for Curing Evil Homosexuality.

Sorry pal, even though your stiffy spouting off may have gotten you into this HIV situation, unfortunately it can't help get you out of it. However, don't let a little fact like that prevent you from enjoying your home entertainment center as often as you want, OK?

Dr. Bob