Forplay -- confused - is there a risk

Question

Dr. Bob - first off, I do hope youre enjoying your night on Broadway. I have been reading your blog, and many of your answers, and must say "you are truly the most colorful expert I have read." I appreciate the time you devote and will be donating. P.S I bet youre the most interesting individual at the dinner table on any given night.

Now, I have searched and cannot find an answer to my question. So here goes. Last weekend in Hollywood I met a girl (bar, sunset avenue late night) and we went back to her place. Now she said that she just moved here and wanted to become an adult film actress. (Bells should have gone off but did not) We kissed a lot and had mutual masturbation. Sex, was next but since we were partying with some "party favors well lets just say I bowed out of the race. So I know there was not any sticky - sticky. I know that kissing is a low risk and I think a sloppy, spitty hand job with is equally low (not sure), but does it make a difference when it is combined. Am I over-thinking this and the HIV paranoia is getting the better of me.

I have had a mild headache for the past week but that is it. If I have sex with my girlfriend is she at risk. Do I wait out the three months, or come clean?

One more question, and sorry for the soliloquy, but where is the limit to safe forplay?
Did I cross it? Does it stop at oral? or since I am a male circumsized individual who likes women, is oral realistically part of the safe realm? Thanks my friend, and please send me over some of that cosmic karma, and you always have a drink waiting for you in Los Angeles.

Answer

Hi,

You hooked up with a soon-to-be adult film actress??? I doubt many of our readers are not going to give you much sympathy.

Your actions -- lip lock/tonsil hockey and sloppy/spitty hand jobs -- are not considered a risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. Oral sex carries only a very small risk for HIV transmission, baring extenuating circumstances (menstruation, concurrent STDs, local trauma, etc.). There is no hard line that separates the safe realm. We all need to decide what is safe enough and how much risk we are willing to accept. Some folks consider oral sex safe enough; others do not.

Finally, my good-luck karma has been signed, sealed and sent. I'm very confident you did not contract HIV from your tryst with Ms. Heywood Jablomey (try saying that out loud!).

Dr. Bob