My first lap dance worries me


Dear Dr. Frascino:

Thank you so much for providing such valuable advocacy.

Sir, I would be extremely grateful if you could please help me with my anxiety. It is killing me. I am 24 years old and have never had any sexual contact with anyone in my life, until yesterday where I went to a totally nude strip club and had 3 private dances. The females rubbed her vagina a number of times over my penis, but I was wearing my undergarments and a denim jeans. I also touched her body, but not their vagina or mouth or lips, and she did rub some of her general skin (including breasts/ tits over my lips(not agressively however)) and from what I realize I did have a little chapped lip, but there were no obvious cuts that I can see. Also I realize that there are no obvious cuts that I can see by the naked eye on my penis. I am petrified and emotionally disturbed too. I do want to get my self tested but I believe it is too early to be detectable (min 3 months right). I dont know if there is a cure and if something can be done before it is detectable.

One more question if I may ask. Could wearing denim and undergarments prevent from transmitting HIV to me i.e. if the strip dancer had HIV, as one of them tried to force her vagina (very little however I would guess) into my penis with my cloths on ofcourse. There were no oral kissing or touching of their vaginal organs, but I am extremely scared now and seek your help please.

Thank you sir,

I eagerly look forward to your reply.



Hello Ajay,

You're 24 and you've never had any sexual contact??? Gosh! No wonder you're "petrified and emotionally disturbed too!" Are you a graduate from one of those abstinence-only sex-education courses Dubya and his rightwing cronies have been pushing? Dude, relax! It was just a lap dance. OK, three lap dances. And even though "one-two-three times" may not make your first sex partner "a lady," your actions carry absolutely no risk for HIV transmission. None! I see no reason for worry, let alone for being petrified. And I do not believe HIV testing is warranted.

I would suggest you spend some time on this Web site and related links reading about how HIV is and is not transmitted. You should also brush up on safer-sexual techniques, because now that you've broken your virginity pledge, you have nearly a decade of experiences to catch up on!

Stay well Ajay,

Dr. Bob