I want to start of by saying I am 23, I never engaged in any sexual act and never did any drugs or shared any needles. I feel though since I was 14 that I have been contracting hiv every day or so from bizzare conditions. Just to name a few... haircuts, waitresses with cuts on fingers, my gingivitis and hiv fluids, people pricking me with needles, blood comming in contact with cuts on my body (I have a mean cat), or fluids getting into my eyes or nose. In a few situations I have had every single acute hiv symptom exactly 2-3 weeks after the event. I do not know why I think HIV is infecting me and why I think I have it even though i have no engaged in any hiv risk situation. I am also extremely afraid to get tested and dont know how I would handle a positive result. I hate this disease and wish it was cured already...its been around before I was born and its still here. I dont know how I developed this extreme fear and how everything somehow infects me with hiv. I just wanted to write to you to vent since no one else would listen to me. You give me hope because you live with this disease and have extrodinary strenth and courage. I pray everyday a cure will be on the horizon and I hope one day you and millions of others will be HIV negative. I believe one day it will be cured, look at all the advances we have made that people thought would be impossible. Even though it may seem impossible to cure HIV I believe one day it would either be controlled to the point where it will never result to aids, or be completely cure
You feel as though since age 14 that you've been contracting HIV every day or so from bizarre conditions??? You're now 23 so that means you've thought you've contracted HIV exactly 3285 times! YIKES! That's a whole lotta worry! Plus, you've had "every single acute HIV symptoms exactly 2-3 weeks after the event" for several of these events!?! Interestingly you also report you have absolutely no HIV exposure risks. In addition you're "extremely afraid to get HIV tested," because you don't know how you'd handle a positive result. WHOA! Just reading back over what you've written do you see a whole lotta crazy going on here? No HIV risk, yet always feeling HIV is attacking you and extremely fearful of getting HIV tested, etc.??? And you wonder why "no one else would listen to (you)?" Dude (or Dudette), HIV is not your problem. No way. No how. No HIV tests are warranted. However, you do have a very significant medical problem that needs attention: irrational fear of HIV. Please note your medical problem is "irrational fear," not a viral infection (HIV). I strongly urge you to seek the help of a psychiatrist to help you confront, cope with and ultimately conquer these totally irrational, completely unwarranted fears. Psychotherapy (counseling) and/or medications can help.
Give it a try. The only thing you have to lose is your irrational fears and anxieties.