dr bob have a wedding in 2 weeks

Question

hi dr bob ,pls help me ,so 12 weeks ago recive a blowjob from a stripper ,after a lot of scary symtomps like burning legs and white tongue i decided to test ,yesterday at day 85 hiv 1-2 antibody test negative ,so my questions are 1)is this conclusive 2)do i need further testing 3)is there a difference between 12 and 13 weeks 4)do you have a patients who tested positive after a 12 week negative 5)seriosly dr bob i have a wedding in 2 weeks,is my future wife safe to have unprotected sex with her can i WOO HOO,i will donate 100$ for your great cause,but please tell me ,am i ok

Answer

Hi,

  1. Yes, your negative 85-day HIV-1/2 antibody test following your stripper blow job is conclusive and definitive. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how.

  2. No further HIV testing is warranted.

  3. Yes, seven whole days, but that doesn't change the validity of your negative HIV test results!

  4. No, not without extraordinary extenuating circumstances.

  5. Yes, "seriosly" you really are HIV negative and completely WOO-HOO-able!

Thanks for your tax-deductible donation to The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). It's very warmly appreciated.

Good luck on your upcoming nuptials!

Be well.

Dr. Bob