dogs and HIV and whipped cream

Question

i have hiv and i sometime let him lick whipped cream off my penis. can the dog catch it?

Answer

Hello,

No, Toto is not at risk. HIV stands for "Human" Immunodeficiency Virus. That said, I don't approve of your latest pet "trick" (so to speak). Even if you can convince Toto to give you a whipped cream hummer without worries of his becoming HIV infected, you have other worries to consider:

  1. You could contract a canine disease if he's carrying something. After all, dogs can lick their own dick and balls, not to mention all sorts of other stuff.

  2. You might turn your dog gay. This may be OK if he's a poodle or Chihuahua or something like that, but if he's a German shepherd or Great Dane, he could have troubles if word gets out at the dog park.

Finally, if you are resorting to canine tongue for your sexual gratification, you definitely need to get out more. Sure, dogs are wonderful and all, but boyfriends are oh so much better when it comes to getting the whipped cream off your joystick.

Dr. Bob