Cuban bodybuilder spilled semen in my ear. OOPS!!! Please advise.


Dr. Bob,

I'm sorry for the disturbing title but this is exactly what happened to me, literally. First off, thank you for taking the time out to read this posting. It literally means a lot to me. I hope that others here who atune there concerns at your advice will benefit from a reply to a question such as this one. Well, let me explain the situation, my name is Jennifer and did have protected sex with a Cuban Bodybuilder whose Cock is literally the size of the State of Arkansas. I don't know if you ever been here to Arkansas, but hey you get what I mean. In any event, when he was finishing, he wanted to showboat so he pulled out his magnum rod and unraveled Mr. Hello and starting whipping it all over my face. But then he lost control of the situation and let Mr. Hello splatter a good 6 explosions into my left ear. I really do not know his status in regard to hiv or do not know he would be completely honest with me. I know I have to be tested. My concern is three fold, he is from Cuba and has been sexually active down there? Would a test for hiv-1 would accurate here to rule out hiv or do I need a test for hiv-2 or something else? Since his semen spilled in my ear, must I wait a year to rule out hiv or can I woo-hoo after 6 months? I am so confused, I thought before you had to wait 2 years to rule out hiv? Has the technology improved so much that 3 months is ultimately conclusive? And Dr. Bob, I know you prefer men over women. But I'll let you know, if you ever consider going the other way for a day or your partner, look me up in Arkansas.

Please stay well. And Thank you! Muah!

Howdy partner, Love Jennifer


Hello Jennifer,

I wouldn't say the title of your post was "disturbing." Curious and intriguing, maybe, but not disturbing.

So a massively endowed Cuban Bodybuilder-guy gave you a 6 explosion earful? I find myself wondering why you think many of our readers will benefit from my advice in this situation? I mean, after all, how many Cubans are bodybuilders?

OK, on to your specific concerns:

  1. Spunk in the ear is not a risk for HIV. There are no "mucous membranes" in the ear. So just think of this guy's jiz-fest as coming in contact with skin. With that in mind, HIV testing is most likely not even warranted.
  2. Most (or at least many) ELISA tests now check for both HIV-1 and HIV-2.
  3. Must you wait 6 months, 1 year, or 2 years to rule out HIV??? None of the above. Your risk is essentially nonexistent, so you don't have to wait at all. If you insist on testing, the 3-month test is now considered conclusive.

Hope that helps. I've never been to Arkansas, but yes, I'll look you up if I ever make it out there. We'll have coffee. Can you bring the Cuban bodybuilder, too?? Stay well.

Dr. Bob