Why Do You Continue to Evade The Novel Questions: MEDICAL Textbook Symptoms


Dear Dr. Bob:

I'm a huge fan of yours, but lately you have been evading all the novel and original questions. It seems that you are moving away from scientific challenges such as mine. I'm going to try "one last time."

I went to a massage about 4 weeks ago. The prostitute gave me a hand job. She used Johnson & Johnson baby oil to give me the hand job. She did not have any cuts on her hands, because I actually inspected visually. Thus, I say no risk for the hand job.

THEN, I asked her for a blow job. Before giving me a blow job, we did the following:

  1. She wiped her hands with a dry towel to remove the baby oil.

  2. Then I wiped my penis with a separate dry towel to remove baby oil from my penis. I was pretty thorough about doing this with the separate dry towel.

  3. Then she left the room, and came back with a pretty warm steaming towel. With that towel, she wiped off any excess baby oil from my penis.

Then she got me erect again, and she placed a latex CONDOM on my penis. She gave me a blow job until completion.

That was it. No cold sores on her mouth, and no other sexual contact. Also, the condom did not break or tear. I would have noticed something like that since I was very vigilant!!

My questions are:

  1. Is my risk for HIV very low OR no risk? Im inclined to say no risk, but I dont want to get too arrogant for my own good.

  2. I hear that oil damages condoms. But do I have to worry in my case?

I went to my primary care doctor, and he gave me the following response:

your risk indeed was zero; that exposure put you at no risk for HIV or any other STD. The amount of oil left behind could not have affected condom integrity. Anyway, the oil problem is that it weakens latex and increases the risk of breakage; oil does not create leaky latex. In other words, if a condom doesn't break, no amount of oil is a problem.

I guess Im afraid because three weeks after this event, I had CLASSIC, MEDICAL-TEXTBOOK ARS symptoms: I had post-nasal drip, ear infection, and felt feverish during on and off throughout the day. My temperature would sometimes get as HIGH as 99.2 to 99.4.

Give it to me straight, Dr. Bob. With all my MEDICAL-TEXTBOOK ARS symptoms AND the fact that we probably only wiped off 95% of the baby oil from my penis (maybe 96%), I know Im HIV-infected.



Thanks for the blow-by-blow (so to speak),

A huge fan??? Somehow I doubt that or you would have known the answer to your questions. Why is it that whenever someone doesn't get their specific (often repetitive) question answered, they accuse me of "evading all the novel and original questions?" Your question, dear fan, is not novel, original or scientifically challenging. So I'll be very brief.

  1. No risk (and yes, you are arrogant).

  2. No.

By the way, your symptoms are not "classic medical textbook ARS." In fact, they are not even suggestive of ARS. Better get a better medical textbook.

Finally, if you already "know" you're HIV infected, why are you so persistent in pestering me? You didn't believe your primary care doctor, and I doubt you'll believe me either, but for what it's worth, your HIV risk was nonexistent.

Dr. Bob