Can you help? My boyfriend goes soft.

Question

Hey Dr. Bob,

My boyfriend is wonderful. He's kind, very well dressed and groomed, sucessful, handsome -- really really handsome, loves to cook and go to movies and shows, gets along well with my parents and all my girlfriends etc etc etc. He even hasn't pressured me for sex before marriage. We are planning to get married in a year or so. He's already planning a fabulous honeymoon. So what's the problem??? Well, I decided to please him by giving him some oral sex but every time I try he goes soft and nothing happens! I know it's not me as I've given several other guys blowjobs and they love it. But my Mr. Wonderful becomes Mr. Softy. Any idea what's wrong? Have you ever has anyone else with a similar situation? Thanks,

Betty

Answer

Hello Betty,

Your boyfriend is successful, very well dressed and groomed, really really handsome, loves to cook and go to movies and shows, gets along well with my parents and all your girlfriends and he hasn't pressured you for sex before marriage. And when you try giving him a blow job Mr. Wonderful becomes Mr. Softy???? Hmmmmmmmmmmm. You don't see any red (or rainbow-colored) flags here???? Can I help? Possibly! See below

Dr. Bob

question about sex Dec 6, 2003

I don't know if you could help me or not. When my boyfriend and are are about to have sex, he all of a sudden goes soft. Not all the time but more often times then I think is normal. It will go hard again and sometimes he can finish but other times he can't. Do you think it's just stress or could it be more serious than that?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

That's a little hard (or soft) to tell over the Internet.

Try this: Say, "Judy, Carol, Barbra, Liza, and Bette" in very rapid succession. If he answers back, "Garland, Burnett, Streisand, Minnelli, and Midler" equally quickly, then yes, he may have a problem that's more than stress or performance anxiety. Alternatively, have him see his doctor for an evaluation.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob