He came on my bleeding ass after protected anal sex

Question

This happened just recetly and i'm freaking out if I have HIV. So this was my first time to be penetrated and he used a condom. It really hurt and I knew that I had already wounds on my anal. He said he pulled out and cum on my ass. I would just loke to ask if there's a risk of contracting HIV if he cum on the surface of my bleeding anal?

Please reply,

Thank you!

Answer

Thank you so much for writing in. You bring up a very important issue that is rarely discussed: Safer and pleasurable receptive anal sex. It is a topic that is rarely discussed in a way that affirms joy, pleasure, connection, and health.

I have heard so many myths about anal sex over the years. One is that it has to hurt, and the other is that it often leads to bleeding. It is very important for you to know that that these need not be regular events, or take place at all.

As the bottom, anal sex does not have to be painful. The trick is for you to be able to communicate with your partner when something feels good and when it hurts. If it hurts, STOP, and do something different.

It may help you to experiment first with a dildo. That will allow you to discover for yourself, without any pressure, exactly what positions you like and what directions feel pleasurable. Try taking your time with different angles, paces, and explore how to manage pain if it occurs.

On that note, LUBE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND! Especially if you and a partner are using condoms, a water-based lube is necessary for penetration and pleasure. Without enough lube he may force himself inside before you are ready, which can result in a considerable amount of pain, tearing, and often bleeding.

Bleeding is not a natural event with anal sex. If one is bleeding it means they didn't use enough lube, and/or communicate with their partner about pacing, angles, comfort, etc. So practicing with a dildo and LOTS of lube will give you a much better sense of how to get penetrated with minimal risk and maximal pleasure.

To your actual question above - There can be some risk if he was living with HIV, had a detectable viral load, and his semen entered you through an open sore in your ass. HIV is most commonly transmitted by directly depositing blood, semen, or vaginal fluids, inside the mucous membranes of another person. It sounds like there is a possibility his semen entered you through this route.

You don't say how long ago this took place. If it was less than 72 hours ago, I'd ask you to consider seeking "PeP" i.e, post-exposure prophylaxis as soon as possible. If we are beyond 72 hours, and you wish to continue to bottom, you may wish to consider the possibility of using PrEP to help you remain HIV negative in the future (http://www.thebody.com/index/treat/tenofovir_prevention.html).

Although there isn't much written about experimenting with the pleasure of bottoming, there are a few good articles, including this one about starting anal sex for the first time: http://www.gaypopbuzz.com/anal-sex-first-time-ultimate-guide/

Please consider getting tested right away, and then how to proceed so anal sex will be fun, joyful, pleasurable, and safer.