I used that line in a recent post. Anyway sir, if you could please find time to answer a question or two, I would greatly appreciate it. I sent you about 5 previous posts so maybe this one will find its way to you. Here is my dilio(I'll keep it short):

Went to message parlor in Bangkok. Girl took my penis in her mouth for about 1 second..seriously. I freaked because I had an open friction burn near the head (FROM BURPING THE NEPHEW). By day 5, I had pharynigitis with swollen lymph nodes and possible fever. I am so stressed I can't eat. I am also married and my wife is expecting. I told her last night, although in my previous posts I said that I was going to try and deal with this alone. She took it better then I would have and basically just tried to calm me down. Here is my question:

  • Since I had an open sore...and it was open cause when I got in the shower minutes later, it hurt....what are my odds? Lets assume this chick is sick, what amount of blood would need to be in her mouth?

I know my last posts were longer so if you have time, please respond to this. Take care and I, along with countless others, am greatful for you service...even if this goes unanswered. Lastly, if you come to Hawaii, make sure you send a message my way. My wife and I would love to take you out for dinner.


Crappin eggrolls


Hello Crappin' Eggrolls?

"Crappin' Eggrolls????"

All previous questions have reached me, but I've answered so many similar posts in the past that I did not respond. (Check the archives!) Regarding "burping the nephew," that phrase has been around a while, so if you coined it originally, you too must have been around for quite some time. And by the way, it's difficult to get "an open friction burn" from burping the nephew. Are you sure you weren't "choking the chicken" instead???

OK, on to your query. A "message parlor?" Hmmm, what kinds of messages were being communicated?

One second of unprotected insertive oral sex with Bangkok "messenger" would not pose a significant risk of HIV transmission, even with a friction burn. After all, you weren't exactly banging cock in Bangkok, right?

The per-act risk for acquisition of HIV from insertive oral sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is estimated to be 0.5 per 10,000 exposures. Your risk (even with the burped and bruised nephew, choked chicken and an Indian rug burn) would be less, because we do not know the status of your "oral messenger," and your episode was such an "episodette."

So relax, go to a luau or strap on a grass skirt and practice the hula. HIV should really not be a significant concern. If you remain worried, get tested in three months after your "One Night in Bangkok" instant-message experience. However, do realize that the primary reason to do so would be to set your mind at ease, OK?

So Crappin', I would love to have dinner with you and Mrs. Eggrolls next time I visit the islands. But let's not go out for Chinese, because as you know, there's a lot of crap in egg rolls.


Dr. Bob