Broken Condom in Bangkok (Message of Thanks)
Just a message of thanks and not for you to have to answer or publish Hi Dr Bob, thanks for your kind words of support, it is great to know that people like you exist... I may need some of that support in 12 weeks but I really hope not. I Have levelled with the wife albeit remotely, me in Bangkok and her back home. She is upset but I know we will be OK it will take a while for her hurt to go away. Not ideal but she knew that I wasnt my normal self when I have been speaking to her and she more or less asked me if something had happened. I have told her that I have to get checked out before we can go together again without protection etc. As soon as I get to London on the next part of my current work project I will get an STD Check out as part one and I hope that all will be well with the final part in 3 months time, its going to be a long wait. I will remain positive for the right reasons (pardon the pun) and I will try not to hang around with the other worried well because it wont change a thing. But when (I hope not if) I get my Woo ffing hoo you will be second on my call list, after the wife... Good luck with your own health and I will be back in late November with an update. If ever you fancy a break in the west of France (I am English not French :-) )Let me know! Take care and bye for now,
Thanks for your thanks! I'm glad you leveled with your wife. I'm sending you both my best good-luck/good-health karma that all will turn out well (including you!).
I love France and visit frequently; although generally Paris or the South. I would enjoy exploring the Western regions on one of these trips someday.
Be well Martin. I look forward to WOO-HOOing with you!
Broken Condom In Bangkok Sep 7, 2009
I am trying to be a rational as I can, but I see so much conflicting advice on the internet I need some guidance. Yes I am married and yes I love my wife and feel utterly despicable and ashamed at what happened. I am in a job that takes me away from home for weeks and months at a time and in several years of doing this job my resolve to be faithful is good until now. I am still working in Bangkok I went out for a few drinks and then a few more! Before I knew what had happened I am back in the hotel with a girl from the bar and we were having sex with a condom (in date Durex from the mini bar!) it broke and I felt it go and pulled out immediately and rushed to the shower. Instantly sobered up and lost the will to continue. I asked the girl about her sexual health and she assured me that she cares a lot about her health and she always uses a condom and she says that she gets screened every three months and has always had the all clear. I would like to believe her but obviously there is no real way of knowing the truth. I will go and get a general sexual heath check up before I get home when I get to London on the last part of my work on this project and I know that I have to wait 3 months before I can get an HIV test so I will have to sort that one out at the time.
So my questions are about my risk, I am scared to death because I have a great wife and relationship and I put it all at risk. What are the chances of catching HIV and STD from a brief exposure?
Hoping for some help and advice
Response from Dr. Frascino
Just like the hit song from the musical "Chess" goes:
"One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free . . . ."
Your HIV-acquisition risk is low because your exposure was extremely brief. Testing at the three-month mark is still warranted, but the statistical odds are all in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this "one night in Bangkok." I'd recommend leveling with your wife and using latex condoms with her until your negative HIV status can be reconfirmed with your three-month test. As for other STDs, your general medical doctor can screen you for these at any time.
Martin, try not to be too hard on yourself. We are all human, which means we all make mistakes, even yours truly. What's important is that we recognize our mistakes, accept the consequences of our actions and learn from the experience. I believe you have done all three.
Good luck. I'm here if you need me, OK?