I woke up this morning and discovered an e-mail from YouTube in my inbox. They have banned one of my videos! I don't know what it is about me, but I seem to offend people with what I think is educational and entertaining information.
The said video, which you can view below, describes how to put a condom on with your mouth. It is done in a very direct and candid manner, but is in no way obscene. But this kind of thing has happened to me before. I was indicted in 1996 by the district attorney of New Jersey for doing the same thing at Hillsborough High School. (I had permission and I was using a demonstration penis, not a student) In the end, they had to drop all charges because it was not against the law to educate. It did not stop me from being banned from high schools for about a decade.
I think when it comes to safer sex, our culture seems to need to frame it as a punishment. Even HIV-positive speakers I have seen often give a message of -- don't do what I did or you will get what I got.
My message is: "Sex is great. Let's make it safer, functional, fun and second nature."
My whole thing about safer sex is how can I make it work and be reasonable.
Hello, female condoms, what were they thinking? I hear some people might use them, other's don't, but still defend them. I have tried female condoms and by the time you get them in, you don't want sex, you want a valium. Maybe they are a turn on if you get hot for the sound an old washing machine -- they sure are loud!
After I recovered from some of the things that I was told to use for safer sex, I can honestly say HIV improved my sex life. WHAT! Yep, it made me talk about sex. That was the best safer sex tool I ever gleaned from all those Hot, Hairy and Hard workshops from the eighties and nineties. If I am going to have to strive to be safe and get out the equipment, I might as well talk about what really turns me on.
I am being very general here -- I am sure there are some totally orgasmic babes reading this and I am sure I will hear from you -- but many women have difficulty saying what they want and really enjoy when having sex. HIV opened the door for me to experimentation and communication.
On YouTube there are many people who demonstrate how to put a condom on. I do it with my mouth for a number of reasons.
- You can cut out the talk if you have not reached that level where you feel comfortable talking about sex. This way you can be safe and not say a word.
- It's fun! And no one will ever complain! He will just be so happy you are down there!
- You don't have to negotiate anything.
- It is building the habit of safety.
If you do something consecutively for 90 days, it builds new neural pathways and becomes second nature and that is what I want when it comes to safer sex.
HIV sucks, as do all sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and most are preventable by using a condom, so why not find ways to make it fun!
I believe YouTube, Hillsborough High School and all the other people I have offended over the years have simply not been able to see the value in erotic education.
Look at the video. It is not porn or even obscene. (I think it sounds like that whacky aunt who knows her stuff and can bake great cupcakes as well.) You decide if it's obscene or educational! Vote below.
How to Put a Condom on With Your Mouth
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