Anal Rubbing?

Question

I recently had an encounter with a male of unknown HIV status, because of this i i used a condom to try to insert my penis in his anus. When i could not sucessfully penetrate him i removed the condom and just rubbed my penis between his glutes. I did not cum nor did i fully penetrated his Anus but the tip did go in for like a second. Does this warrent a HIV test?

Answer

Thank you for writing in. I understand the concern this experience may warrant. Fortunately, the events you are describing put you at zero risk of acquiring HIV from this encounter. HIV is transmitted directly from the mucous membranes (semen, blood, vaginal fluids, breast milk) from one person into another, hence why penetrative sex and IV drug use are the most common routes. Simply rubbing, touching, or even a quick poke, does not enable HIV transmission to occur.

Your question reminds of what it was like to become sexually active during the 1980s and 1990s. Before we had treatments for HIV, anal sex was fraught with the possibility of deadly consequences. Many of us sought other ways to enjoy pleasurable sexual intimacy. Frottage, i.e., rubbing genitals, was a central part of that. Men would find great pleasure in rubbing their penises against another man's penis, as well as the outside of their partner's asshole, and inside those nice glutes. All of that was and is considered safe sex which does not result in HIV exposure.

When in doubt, I think it's always a good idea to get tested for HIV and STIs. If you're sexually active it's wise to consider getting tested every 3-4 months, if access and costs are reasonable. If anal sex without condoms is something you wish to do while minimizing risk of HIV, you may want to consider if PrEP is right for you (http://www.thebody.com/index/treat/tenofovir_prevention.html).

As far as anal sex with a condom, you did not mention why you could not successfully penetrate him. Was there enough lube used? Was there adequate communication and trust between the two of you? Does he enjoy bottoming for anyone? Does he know what position(s) he likes? Are you larger than average? Was he cleaned out? All of these questions can become barriers to being able to open up as a bottom.

In any event, this event in and of itself would not necessarily warrant a separate HIV test. But perhaps the other questions and considerations may help you and your partners to enjoy the pleasures of topping and bottoming available to you.