My Letter to HIV: A Letter and Video From Ruben Bermudez

Dear HIV,

Let me just tell you how much I love and hate you. Love and hate, yea I said it. I like to start off with the bad and end with good so let's start there.

I hate you because you have cost me so many things in my life. You cost me money, health, friendships, relationships, and my youth. You're a nasty Bitch, hateful, uncaring, blind, ignorant, and the list goes on and on. I'm sure by now you're hearing a lot from my friends who you've violated but now you're going to hear it from me.

How dare you show yourself in my life, my body and to my friends! Nobody asked for you to show up nobody wants you around. Get your shit, get your shit, and get the Fuck out!

I bet you're wondering about my tone and language but just like you I don't care!

At 18 years old I was suppose to enjoy my young life with friends, and some more-than-friends. I always wanted what others thought I shouldn't have because of you. Because of you that sexy perfect man I could never have, because of your baggage (the stereotypes and stigmas) people pushed me away, because of you people didn't bother getting to know me, and sometimes they even looked the other way.

For 10 years I let you grow within me. Multiplying and taking over my body and health because I almost decided to let you win. What the heck was I thinking! Oh HELLLLL NO! Once I found love within myself I was determined to kill you! I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. Remember those three good friends of mine that I introduce you to every night about 9 o'clock? Prezista, Norvir, and Truvada. Yea I bet you remember them. Don't worry, you are gonna run into them every night until it kills you!

No more will I miss taking my medicine. Allow you to make me depressed, allow you to prevent me from making or keeping friends, allow you to hold stereotypes in my life, allow you to prevent me from loving or being loved by anyone! I'm going to break you down 100 times worse then you did to me. So yea HIV good luck with that and when you die trust me I'll be there and so will a whole bunch of my friends and you're going to die forever!

Now, here's why I love you. I love you because you made me become educated about you. I know who you are, how you look, where you live, how you replicate, I know how you travel, and I know what you need to live. I love you because you allowed me to be a speaker of you to others in my life. Speak about what you can do to a person if they don't get help, medicine, and support. I love you because not only does the bad in someone make them weak but it can empower them to be a stronger person. I love you because one day someone will find out how to get rid of you and for now all we can do is control you.

So you do you HIV and I'm going to do me, but trust me: I'm going to win!

I'll see you at 10pm every night!

Never yours,
Ruben Bermudez