Personal Accounts of Telling Others You Have HIV/AIDS

How do you tell friends or family that you have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS? It's one of the greatest challenges you'll face -- and it's not something to rush into. Browse through these tips and discover how sharing your diagnosis with others can have unexpected results. Read how Rafael Abadia told his parents about his illness.

Secrets Are Not Always Worth Keeping: A Blog Entry by Teniecka Drake (December 17, 2011)
"I was talking to a dear friend of mine. There was a dilemma that we discussed. Most of the dilemma revolved around secrets and dishonesty. Going through that myself really made me think: Why keep secrets?"
From The Body
Disclosure: From a Son to His Father (December 1, 2011)
From The Body
Positively Religious (November 23, 2011)
From The Body
Chris Vucetic: FACTS Bucks County -- A Blog Entry by Robert Breining (November 21, 2011)
"Chris is a 25 year old male, who has been diagnosed with HIV since September 17, 2008 five days before his 22nd birthday. He had struggled with it from the moment he left that doctor's office. He knew nothing about HIV, except just the negative things."
From The Body
Magic, HIV and Me: A Retrospective! Part Two: A Blog Entry by Rae Lewis-Thornton (November 11, 2011)
"So here Magic was telling the world he had HIV and I was hoarding my infection like it was my last dime. Just the thought of having to tell one more person was too much for me."
From The Body
Magic, HIV and Me: A Retrospective! A Blog Entry by Rae Lewis-Thornton (November 8, 2011)
"As Magic had disclosed to the world, I was living in the shame of my disease and it was killing me quicker than the disease. My secret had taken on a life of its own."
From The Body
Betsy Yung Shares Her Story: A Blog Entry by Robert Breining (November 8, 2011)
"[In July 2010, Betsy] was given an AIDS diagnosis with 27 CD4 cells. … Hindsight being what it is, she realized that she had numerous warning signs over the previous few years... Shingles, thrush, UC and swollen glands. None of her doctors ever even suggested that she get tested. After all, she didn't fit the 'at risk' demographic at all."
From The Body
Dis Honesty: A Blog Entry by fogcityjohn (November 3, 2011)
"If Alex had had sex with me, it would have been no riskier (and possibly far less risky) for him than if he had sex with some guy whose status he didn't know. But maybe Alex has convinced himself that guys who don't volunteer their status are all negative."
From The Body
Disclosure: An Intensely Personal Decision -- A Blog Entry by Frankie Ninja (October 27, 2011)
"By telling others MY STORY, I have shown them that not all is as it may appear. It has allowed me to educate them. To make them think twice about risky behavior and not to fear or hate those that are fighting for their futures every day."
From The Body
Facebook Put My Life Together Again: A Blog by Mark S. King (September 9, 2011)
"For most of my life, I've kept my social circles far away from one another. ... When I finally put a stop to my exhausting existence of lies and fakery that accompanied my drug addiction, I knew that in order to live a life of integrity I would need to be the same Mark for every person in my life. ... Then I joined Facebook, which allowed me to invite all of these segments into one pool of friendship."
From The Body
Love in the Time of HIV: A Blog Entry by Justin B. Terry-Smith (April 10, 2011)
"Since getting diagnosed as HIV positive in 2006, I have made it a priority to be open about my status. ... Here are four ways that openly acknowledging that I have HIV has worked in my favor."
From The Body
Ignorance and My Beauty Salon Experience: The Time to Educate Can Happen When You Least Expect! A Blog Entry by Maria T. Mejia (February 14, 2011)
"Here I am holding my tongue, but with such a big urge to speak my mind and educate ... and remember I was there to pamper myself and RELAX! But that went out the window, of course."
From The Well Project
Why I Want to Show My Face After 20 Years: A Blog Entry by Maria T. Mejia (January 26, 2011)
"My partner's sister passed away from cancer and this was so terrible. I thought to myself, and asked myself, WHY can't I say I have HIV?? Why is it that anyone can say they have cancer or diabetes or any other health condition and I am so scared to disclose openly without having that fear?"
From The Well Project
First-Person Stories From HIV-Positive People: January 2011 (January 7, 2011)
From The Positive Project
Out and Proud: A Blog Entry by Richard Cordova III (December 2, 2010)
From The Body
This Positive Life: Mondo Guerra of Project Runway Talks About Living With HIV and the Power of Disclosure (October 19, 2010)
When Mondo Guerra was chosen to be on the hit reality show Project Runway, his main goal was to live out his dream of being a successful fashion designer, not be a poster boy for HIV. But one emotional challenge compelled him to disclose on air that he had been living with HIV for the past 10 years. In this exclusive interview with TheBody.com, Mondo talks about living with HIV for a decade, overcoming fear and stigma, and the disclosure that was seen around the world.
In This Positive Life, from The Body
Working Through It: A Blog Entry by Brandon Lacy Campos (June 7, 2010)
I suppose if I lived my life in a cubicle and never made any mistakes, small or fucking huge as I have done, then I suppose, controlling for all that, I could influence someone's opinion of me. But change it? Nope.
From The Body
Rough Night: A Blog Entry by Brandon Lacy Campos (June 5, 2010)
I have posted on my blog about my recent failure to disclose ... I have gotten to a place of acceptance if not comfort of what went down. And then, in one fell swoop, I let one person rip all that down.
From The Body
Enclosed by Disclosure: A Blog Entry by Tree Alexander (May 12, 2010)
When I started to date ... I wondered: Should I tell right away, should I tell on the third date, or should I wait until we are ready to take our relationship to the bedroom? Will they stay regardless?
From The Body
My Pretend Life Without HIV (May 11, 2010)
Mark S. King explains his decision to not disclose his HIV-positive status to his partner's mother.
From MyFabulousDisease.com
Do I Have Poz Pride? A Blog Entry by Tree Alexander (April 21, 2010)
From The Body
Justin B. Smith on Being Public About Living With HIV: A Video Blog Entry by Justin B. Terry-Smith (November 4, 2009)
Not long after Justin B. Smith found out he was HIV positive, he got a video camera, launched a video blog and committed himself to becoming an agent of change.
From The Body
You Gotta Have Friends: A Video Blog Entry by Mark S. King (April 22, 2009)
Mark invites a group of his HIV-positive friends over for dinner. Together they share intimate stories about disclosure, sex, dating and how they've coped with their status.
From The Body
Talking About Your Status: One Woman's Decision to Disclose (March/April 2005)
When's the best time to tell a potential partner you have HIV? For Barbara Marcotte, the answer is: Tell them early.
To read PDF, click here.
In Positively Aware, from Test Positive Aware Network
Bisexuality, Lies and HIV: The Pain and Necessity of Disclosure -- and Acceptance (March/April 2005)
A cautionary story for all HIV-positive guys who sleep with both men and women, and for the HIV-negative women they sleep with who may not know about it.
To read PDF, click here.
In Positively Aware, from Test Positive Aware Network
"By the Way, I'm Poz" (July 2004)
Although Steve McMahon's romantic relationship ended the night he told his boyfriend he was HIV positive, he has no regrets.
In Body Positive, from Body Positive
"I Still" (July 2004)
A poem by Gene Valentine about lost love and HIV disclosure.
In Body Positive, from Body Positive
Periods, Bras and T Cells: A Father-Daughter Talk (June 18-24, 2004)
In this touching, beautifully crafted story, Michael Kearns writes about how he finally told his nine-year-old adopted daughter that he has HIV.
In LA Weekly
Disclosing HIV in the Workplace (September/October 2003)
Steve McMahon talks about his decision to tell his coworkers he's HIV positive.
In Body Positive, from Body Positive
Disclosure: Being Out as an HIV-Positive Teen (December 20, 2002)
To read PDF, click here.
From PositiveWords
Pickett Fences: Seven's Up (September/October 2002)
Jim Pickett's letter to his family telling them that he as HIV.
To read PDF, click here.
In Positively Aware, from Test Positive Aware Network
Telling the Truth: An Insider's Look at Disclosure (April 2001)
In Positive Living, from AIDS Project Los Angeles
Going Public (Spring 1999)
In Women Alive Newsletter, from Women Alive
Diagnosis 18 Months Later (Summer 1998)
A positive woman considers disclosure.
In Women Alive Newsletter, from Women Alive
Personal Perspectives on Telling Others (1994)
Part of There Is Hope: Learning to Live With HIV.
From HIV Coalition (HIVCO)