John,
30,
knew
his
crystal
methamphetamine
addiction
was
spiraling
out
of
control
when
he
was
awakened
in
the
middle
of
the
night
by
five
U.S.
marshals
surrounding
his
bed
asking
him
if
he
had
seen
a
dealer
they
were
tracking.
The
dealer
in
question
had
spent
time
in
John’s
apartment
but
had
recently
moved
out.
What
the
marshals
didn’t
realize
was
that
John’s
two
roommates
were
crystal
addicts
running
an
ID
ring
from
his
living
room,
where
it
was
not
unusual
to
find
hundreds
of
fake
IDs
strewn
across
a
coffee
table.
“They
were
running
credit
card
rings,
creating
false
payroll
checks
…
it
was
a
complete
scam
and
it
was
being
done
out
of
my
apartment,”
John
said.
“I
remember
receiving
a
box
of
a
special
ink
that
was
used
to
create
fraudulent
checks.”
John
took
in
the
addicts
because
he
was
facing
eviction
for
not
paying
his
rent.
At
that
point,
his
abuse
of
crystal
meth
—
also
called
Tina,
“T”
and
speed
—
was
unmanageable.
What
started
off
as
a
“maintenance
drug,”
used
solely
to
“continue
the
party”
at
clubs
and
other
venues
morphed
into
an
addiction,
causing
John’s
boss
to
place
him
on
probation
at
work:
Get
clean
in
three
months
or
face
termination.
John
knew
he
couldn’t
kick
the
addiction
in
three
months
so
he
resigned.
He
thought
he
would
take
a
month
off
to
clean
up
his
act
and
return
to
work.
But
that
month
turned
into
more
than
two
years
of
dealing
crystal,
which
led
to
negative
bank
account
balances
and
managing
what
became
an
abusive
relationship
with
his
now
ex-boyfriend.
At
the
height
of
his
addiction,
John
recalled
a
week
when
he
didn’t
leave
his
apartment
for
seven
consecutive
days,
not
even
to
throw
away
his
trash.
John,
who
spoke
on
the
condition
of
anonymity,
has
been
sober
for
more
than
10
months
and
doesn’t
miss
anything
about
his
addiction.
He
keeps
a
picture
of
himself
in
his
wallet
that
was
taken
a
week
after
he
quit
using
crystal.
He
said
that
at
the
time,
he
was
so
thin
that
his
size
27
jeans
were
falling
off.
“I
don’t
miss
anything
about
it,”
John
said.
“All
of
the
things
that
I
did
that
I
thought
were
fun
or
enjoyed
were
neither.
The
non-stop
sex
parties,
lube
all
over
my
apartment,
which
was
smelly
and
dirty,
I
was
undernourished.
Your
body
expels
toxins
through
the
pores
and
I
had
one
of
those
boils
on
my
body
from
all
this
shit.”
John
took
an
unconventional
approach
to
sobriety.
He
decided
to
do
it
alone.
He
regularly
attends
crystal
meth
anonymous
meetings
and
has
a
sponsor,
who
has
been
clean
from
heroin
for
19
years.
One
of
the
most
difficult
parts
of
his
recovery
has
been
admitting
to
others
that
he
has
cravings.
“I
felt
that
it
was
a
sign
of
weakness,”
John
said.
“The
honesty
factor
has
been
difficult
—
admitting
that
I
need
help.
Calling
up
my
sponsor
when
I
need
someone.
Doing
what
people
tell
me
I
should
be
doing
to
stay
clean.
You
know,
you
always
think
you
know
what’s
best
and
it’s
hard
to
cave
in
and
take
suggestions.”
John
said
the
first
few
months
of
“getting
clean”
were
the
hardest,
as
it
is
all
about
accomplishing
“basic
tasks.”
“Like
doing
laundry
you
haven’t
done
in
months
and
cleaning
my
apartment,”
John
said.
“It
took
me
several
months
to
clean
my
apartment.
Also,
getting
my
sleep
patterns
back
in
order
and
eating
well.
Then
you
start
working
on
the
things
you
like
to
do.”
Experts
say
that
sobriety
is
an
extremely
difficult
challenge
for
the
crystal
user.
The
pain,
isolation
and
fear
associated
with
crystal
pales
in
comparison
to
other
addictions
like
alcohol.
The
user
can
easily
destroy
his
or
her
life
in
six
short
months.
Randy
Pumphrey,
executive
director
of
the
Lambda
Center,
said
his
clients
recognize
they
have
a
problem
and
want
help.
Often
their
paranoia
is
at
such
a
peak
they
will
stare
out
of
windows
of
the
center,
convinced
the
FBI
is
watching
them,
said
Beth
Wheeler,
a
social
worker
at
the
Lambda
Center.
She
added
that
many
clients
pull
on
the
doors
of
the
clinic
and
say
they
want
to
leave.
“Within
48
hours
they
will
want
to
discharge
and
those
of
them
who
end
up
staying,
move
through
that
resistance,”
Wheeler
said.
Pumphrey
said
that
unlike
those
who
suffer
from
alcoholism
or
heroin
addiction,
many
crystal
meth
addicts
don’t
have
the
“old
timers”
at
meetings
who
have
been
sober
for
20
years,
because
crystal
meth
is
a
relatively
new
phenomenon.
Many
only
have
a
year
or
two
of
sobriety
under
their
belts.
“We
are
at
a
disadvantage
because
no
one
in
our
programs
can
look
at
someone
and
say,
‘Wow,
you
could
actually
not
use
for
10-15
years?’
“
Addicts
must
also
recognize,
according
to
Pumphrey,
that
contrary
to
what
they
...
