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My Greatest Hits, or How to Be a Moulin Rogue

By Jim Pickett

November/December 2001

It’s my party and I’ll die if I want to, die if I want to, die if I want to.

You would die too if it happened to you.

Oh, wait, my bad. That’s rather gloomy, no? Beg my pardon, I believe I did promise you a rose garden. The sun’ll come out tomorrow? No! It’s out today, just look, will you? Silly! AIDS is not a death sentence! It’s a life paragraph, it’s a command to go out, shake it, have a little fun.

No! A lotta fun! Stop the whining! Start the shaking! Make a tall pitcher of Crystal Light and invite that cute baby queen next door over for a disco break. And whatever you do, be upbeat! Think happy face! Think exclamation marks!!! Think pink! Not stink. Pink!!!

Wink, wink. I mean, where would I be without HIV? You got that right, nowhere! At least not anywhere nice. It is my sunshine, my only sunshine, it makes me happy, when skies are grey. It lifts me up, to the top. It lights up my life, it gives me hope, to carry on. It fills up my night with song. It’s so beautiful to me, can’t you see?

AIDS, AIDS, AIDS. AIDS, AIDS, AIDS. AIDS, AIDS, AIDS. There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done. There’s nothing you can sing that can’t be sung. All you need is AIDS. All you need is AIDS, AIDS. AIDS is all you need. All together now. Everybody.

When I find myself in times of trouble, HIV comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, HIV. And in my hour of darkness, it is standing right in front of me, whispered words of wisdom, HIV. Let it be, HIV. Let it be, HIV. There will be an answer. HIV. There’s still a chance that you will see. There will be an answer. HIV.

My Greatest Hits, or How to Be a Moulin Rouge

I don’t need your sympathy, there’s nothing you can say or do for me. And I don’t want a miracle. It’ll never change for no one. Now hear your reasons why. Where did you sleep last night? And was it worth it? Was it, worth it?

You betcha! I’m strong enough!

HIV. All my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they’re here to stay. Oh I believe in HIV. Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be. There’s a shadow hanging over me. Oh HIV came suddenly.

Why, he had to go I don’t know, he wouldn’t say. I said something wrong and now I long for HIV. Love was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away. Oh I believe in HIV.

Workin’ hard to get my fill. Everyone wants a thrill. Payin’ anything to roll the dice, just one more time. Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues. Oh, HIV it never ends it goes on and on and on and on. Don’t stop believin’. Hold on to the feelin’.

Ooooh, I’ve been to Nice and the Isle of Greece, and I’ve sipped champagne on a yacht. I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo, and showed ‘em what I’ve got. I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things that a woman ain’t supposed to see. I’ve been to paradise, and I’ve been to HIV.

Sometimes the snow comes down in June. Sometimes the sun goes ‘round the moon. Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for is the one thing you can’t see. But now we’re standing face to face. Isn’t this world a crazy place? Just when I thought our chance had passed, you go and save AIDS for last.

So I chose freedom. Running around, trying everything new, but nothing impressed me at all. I never expected it to. And as for fortune, and as for fame. I never invited them in, though it seems to the world they were all I desired. They are illusions, they’re not the solutions they promise to be.

The answer was here all the time. I love you and hope you love me.

Don’t cry for me HIV.


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