March 2012
Table of Contents
The teen years bring a variety of physical, mental, and emotional changes that can be both exhilarating and challenging. For you, a teen living with HIV (HIV+), the transition into adulthood is even more challenging because you have to live and cope daily with a chronic illness. Life may even seem overwhelming at times. Learning about teen development and how these changes affect your feelings and behavior can help make things a little easier.
A teen's body grows at a faster rate of speed than any time since infancy. During a "growth spurt," a boy can add 4 inches of height and a girl 3 inches of height. Body weight increases, too, although boys tend to add more muscle, while girls add more fat. During puberty, hormonal changes in boys can cause a deeper voice, facial hair, and hair under the arms and in the pubic area. Girls begin to develop breasts, get fuller hips, and grow underarm and pubic hair. Even the brain is growing.
While these changes might make you feel self-conscious, especially if you grow at a faster or slower rate than your peers, you may have additional physical issues. If you are taking HIV drugs, you may have some uncomfortable side effects, such as nausea, dizziness, muscle pain, or fatigue. If these medications are taken for a long time, you may develop a body change called lipodystrophy. This is a weight gain in the central part of your body, such as your stomach, chest, shoulders, and waist, but at the same time, a loss of fat in the face, arms, legs, hips, and buttocks. No doubt these body changes might make you feel self-conscious about your appearance.
While increased growth makes it important for all teens to eat a healthy diet, you must make a special effort to protect your immune system by eating a balanced diet, getting enough rest, and exercising regularly.
In addition to physical growth, your mental processes of perception, memory, and judgment will develop further, as will your emotional and decision-making abilities. HIV and some HIV drugs might impair some of these mental processes. This may cause some problems when it comes to taking care of your health.
Even HIV+ adults find that taking HIV drugs daily can be annoying, hard to remember, and perhaps difficult to hide from others. Medication can be a constant reminder of your disease. In addition, you may be embarrassed about regular school absences on account of frequent doctor visits. All of this might make you feel more self-consciousness and sensitive to what others may think of you.
Although it's normal to feel sensitive, over-sensitivity may be a sign of a problem with self-esteem. Teens with poor self-esteem have trouble distinguishing between a failed experience and failure as a person. For example, a teen with good self-esteem who gest a bad grade on a test, will most likely realize that she or he blew the test but can do better next time by studying harder. But a teen with shaky self-esteem will see the bad grade as a reflection of her or his failure as a person.
Teens with low self-esteem are more vulnerable to peer-pressure to use drugs and alcohol. They may seek the approval of others (peers) to make up for not having a positive concept about themselves. Those with self-esteem problems may also experience problems with depression or even suicidal thoughts. If this is true for you, talk to your health care provider or another trusted adult. There are medications as well as counseling available that can help with depression.
Teens deal with several social and emotional issues. One of the most important issues is establishing your identity. Asking "Who am I?" and "How do I fit in the world?" are normal questions. It is a struggle for most teens to feel accepted and create a circle of friends. Developing and maintaining close relationships with peers is made all the more difficult when peer pressure is involved.
Teens are known to take risks and experiment with drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, and sexuality. Unfortunately, these kinds of risk-taking behaviors can get in the way of your good judgment and quickly worsen your health. If you are drunk or high, you are more likely to have unprotected sex. Unprotected sex may spread your HIV, and may also expose you to other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as herpes, hepatitis B or C, or genital warts. STDs can interfere with your HIV disease treatments. There is also the risk of getting infected with another strain of HIV (called "super-infection"), which can cause additional damage to your immune system.
It is important to know that in some states, not disclosing your HIV status before having sex is illegal and you can go to jail (even if you practiced safer sex!). If you are drunk or high, you may forget to tell a sexual partner about your HIV status and may be vulnerable to serious legal consequences.
Even though being HIV+ may make you feel isolated at times, it's important to have open, honest, and supportive friendships. Many HIV+ teens are afraid to tell their friends that they have HIV for fear of rejection or mistreatment. In fact, this can be one of the hardest decisions that an HIV+ teen can make. While telling someone may relieve the burden of keeping such an important secret and may give you the love and support you need from friends, it can also be scary.
Some things to consider before disclosing your HIV status:
You can have your health care provider, a parent, a trusted relative, an HIV peer educator, or a friend help you to disclose your status, if you need additional support.
Lastly, high school is all about preparing yourself for adulthood and your future. And your future may seem scary. Questions like "should I go to college?", "will I find love?", "can I get a job?", "will I be able to have children?", or "will I ever have a normal life?" may arise. With the treatments now available, HIV+ people can live very healthy, normal, and long lives.
Where can you find support? Trusted family members, friends, teachers, counselors, clergy, and health care providers can be a valuable support. Many communities have local HIV support groups, too -- try looking in our local resources directory for some places near you. In a support group, you can talk openly, safely, and confidentially with others who have similar situations and concerns.
There are also some important things that your parents, or guardians, can do to help you:
If your parents or guardians are not already doing these things, it is probably because they are learning how to live well with your HIV just like you. Show them this article to help them.