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A Poem by njpozdad

April 2011

Two Closets in One Lifetime

I always knew I felt different
Never feeling like I fit in
Withdrawn
Sad
Lost

Every day I felt the walls around me
Choking me off from life
Lonely
Abandoned
Deserted

Searching
Reaching
Pleading
With no responses ever received
No support or encouragement

Solitary
Disconsolate
Forsaken
Seeing nowhere to turn
No hope or dreams

And then there it was

Waiting for me to enter
Cold lonely interior
My closet
My space
My world

I enter
The door closes
Dark
Dismay
Dread

I remained there for 44 years

Then one day someone opened my eyes
Gave me hope, gave me love
Kindle
Stir
Ignite

Daylight
Sunshine
Freedom
I moved to the door
Threw it open

Clear
Luminous
Radiance
The closet door began to open
Light began pouring in

Then, HIV came to me and the closet was there again
Do I enter?

Decided not to enter this time
Hope
Embrace
Support
Love




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