Far from home and ill at ease
My man cast the dice and gave us this disease
Not really his fault and not his intent
He was much more afraid of what it meant.
I held on and kept strong
denial came easy and I prosper long
my mindset does keep me together
Yet he was soon gone once he knew
He had this disease and thought to have
little chance to go on and survive.
That was the end of his game
He played it bitter sweetly with self-blame
Filled with fear that did him in
bad he left this world,
those he loved and the love for life that he had.
Somehow now I still soldier on
Despite some once close now gone
The result of this unkind disease.
Transferred to a place so unlike home
Where this sexuality is a crime,
Yet not really disinclined
By the yearning young men of this far away place.
In denial they do live
Where their culture, faith, family values do give
To prevent them, discourage them,
forbid them from protecting themselves
With the wicked latex sheath,
the condom forbidden on most store shelves
Sunday, beg, borrow or steal
you can't get it on buying protection
so simple that just slips right on
Unbelievable this level of denial.
Living this way can be quite the trial
In the closet and yet not
Hypocrisy, duality, secrecy, denial
It's really such a tough shot
Revealing the truth of this awful disease
When sexuality like this is a crime
What crime might this disease then be?
Be quiet, be discreet
Reveal not the truth or be and not be let be
Be careful and watch your back
Denial seems still to be the best choice you are left
In this place so far and away from home.