HIV News & Views, July 8, 2010
July 8, 2010
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Philip D. Philip D.: Adding Life to Your Years -- Not Just Years to Your Life
"Being touched with a potentially fatal disease has also given me a crystal clear vision of what I hold most dear -- and lately, I've been living in discord," muses Philip D. "What if, rather than trying to see how long I can exist, I focused on how fully I could live?"

Vanessa Johnson, J.D. Disclosure Etiquette: The Highs and Lows of Telling Your Business
Telling others that you're HIV positive is a thorny bramble: People may react well, but they may not -- and there's often little you can do about it if they don't. "As much as I want to lash out, I know that it makes no sense for me to retaliate against someone who [uses] my disclosure in a manner that I had not originally intended," writes Vanessa Johnson, J.D.

Jimmy Mack Jimmy Mack: Outed With Love
For many gay men with HIV, disclosing their HIV status is only part of the story. Coming out as gay can sometimes cause just as much nail-chewing -- as it did for our blogger Jimmy Mack 30 years ago. "After the third time I called to say I was sleeping over at Frank's, my parents called me into my father's den. What happened next was nothing short of miraculous."

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Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
(A recent post from the "Gay Men" board)

"The magic began when we met on a dating service 10 months ago. We were both positive. We shared so much and realized we were meant to meet. We had the same plans about marriage, moving in, integrating our families and friends. We got used to each other and comfortable to the point where we lost ourselves in each other.

"But last week we had an argument and he said he needed space. I cried myself to sleep the first few nights. We used to see each other every night. How could he not want to touch me or be close to me anymore? It's not fair because I poured all of myself into him. I deserve a chance. We deserve a chance. He said all these nice things, like how we would grow old together. I don't want to die alone, let alone without him.

"He told me it's over and that he'd consider calling me in a few weeks. I respect him, but how does someone shut off a person like that? He once lost a lover to HIV. Could he just be scared? How do I reassure him I'm not giving up and not seem like a stalker?"

-- livinginli

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 A Holistic Approach to HIV and Depression
More than half of people living with HIV also find themselves dealing with depression. Luckily, if you need help coping (whether it's with HIV, treatment or life in general), you have plenty of options -- and many don't require you to take additional pills.

More Headlines on HIV Treatment & Health Issues:

HIV/AIDS Resource Center for Gay Men

HIV/AIDS Resource Center for Gay MenAre you a man who's into other men? Are you looking for HIV/AIDS information from a safe, trusted place that was created with you in mind?'s new HIV/AIDS Resource Center for Gay Men contains a vast collection of basic info, first-person stories, expert tips and podcasts on issues of importance to gay and bisexual men, same-gender loving men and men who have sex with men (MSM).


Kellee Terrell When Will the Media's Obsession With the "Down Low" Die?
"Mainstream media has continued to scapegoat 'undercover brothas,' allowing its own homophobia and bias to take over its ability to cover the epidemic fairly and accurately," writes Kellee Terrell,'s news editor. For the latest example, look no further than a recent exchange on The View between celebs D.L. Hughley and Sherri Shepherd.

 What Does Being on an ADAP Waiting List Really Mean? A Look Inside the Crisis
More than 2,000 people across the U.S. are now on an AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP) waiting list -- an all-time high. But what actually happens to you when you're placed on one of these lists? We take a look behind the curtain to see how HIV/AIDS service organizations are helping people with HIV cope with the growing ADAP crisis.

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 New HIV Risk Estimates Are In: Anal Versus Vaginal Sex
A group of British researchers recently attempted to pin down the answer to an age-old question: When it comes to HIV, how much riskier is anal sex than vaginal sex? What they found is not terribly surprising, but it could have important implications for HIV prevention efforts and how we prioritize condom use.

fogcityjohn Fogcityjohn: The Truth About Gay Men, Sex and HIV Education
"I think most men probably find sex with condoms a necessary, but inadequate, substitute for natural, unprotected sex. And I don't understand why we can't just say these things out loud," blogs fogcityjohn. In this entry, he examines how safer sex education misleads gay men -- and hurts HIV prevention in the process.

More HIV Transmission & Prevention Headlines:

Activist Central

 Participate in a New Survey on HIV Prevention Strategies Targeting MSM

 NMAC Asks for Your Help Ending S.B. 1070; Promoting Comprehensive Federal Immigration Reform

 Action Alert: Help Homeless AIDS Activist Get Into Housing Today

 Action Alert: Urge Your Senator to Support an Extension of Critical Medicaid Funding