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Brooke Davidoff

Voice of ONE

Grass Is Greener
March 23, 2012

The grass is greener on my side, finally.

I made a long-awaited return to California for a week's vacation with Myles. We saw my mom, my friends and some family members. It was nice to be there for a good reason. Last time I saw most of those people I was 6 months pregnant at my father's funeral. Here we were almost 2 years later and I was not sad to be in California. My mother has moved to a different city than where my father lived. I didn't have to go to his neighborhood, see the house I partly own and might never be inside again; we didn't drive past places I remember, or had ever been.

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Where It Came From
February 2, 2012

I know now where I got it, THIS. I no longer need a man-map trying to retrace my who's and where's of the years past. One email answered it all today. I sent an email to one of my ex-boyfriends' exes via Facebook a few weeks ago. I've known they were not together for a few months now. I noticed she was single again, and I sent her an email. We're not friends, but we KNOW each other. We have for years. I just dropped her a line saying I had no idea what happened with THEM, but I hoped she had a good new year and found a guy who treated her better than our ex. She wrote me back.

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Occupy HIV
December 17, 2011

I am a political junkie. I am also a media addict. I majored in journalism and being a total liberal how could I NOT fall in love with the Occupy Wall Street movement? I am the 99 percent. We are just floating along in the water with debt up to our necks. History is written daily. Little things impact us that we see on the news that we did not expect. Things like Columbine and Katrina, 9/11, Virginia Tech. Well, Occupy found ME. These are MY people. This is MY cause. More than 50 percent of my income goes to rent. The last few weeks we have had rent and gas money and $100.00 for groceries for two weeks -- that's it.

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One Day Together -- One Mouse Click Away
November 23, 2011

Silently we all sat in our secluded lives, afraid, embarrassed, guilty. Sneaking pills at meals so our friends and family don't notice. Before the time of the Internet and Facebook we would truly be alone in this. I'm not sure how those diagnosed in the '80s made it. Support groups were HUGE back then, I'm sure.

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September 8, 2011

I want to go home. The California heat and my mommy are calling. I'm not homesick, I'm heart sick. After the loss of my father the only thing that seems to matter to me is family and pre-existing friends. I don't have the energy nor the desire to go out and meet new people or couples to hang out with. I don't know what to say to them. I feel like I live currently in a BAD Lifetime movie.

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Money: The Biggest Challenge to Sticking With Meds
September 1, 2011

I cut my finger on a can and freaked out. I would not touch my son. We were home alone in the kitchen making lunch; he was crying and I was bleeding. Staring at my finger, as the blood slowly trickled down, it felt so weird to look the enemy in the face for the first time since being diagnosed.

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Happy 1st Birthday Myles! A Crazy Year in Review
July 15, 2011

Toilet paper is scattered across the wood floor like newly fallen snow. In the corner Myles and Nash, our new 4-month-old puppy, play tug o war with the last remaining connected squares. Marley the cat watches curiously; apparently he never knew the joy of toilet paper. Keanen my stay-home-daddy husband is on the couch looking like a zombie.

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I Don't Have Time to Be Sick
May 12, 2011

Job that pays the bills (most of the time) -- check. Medication and 12-month refill for my prescriptions -- check. New medical insurance through work -- check. Positive support system via friends, family & fans -- check. Having free time to go see a new doctor and get my lab work done -- NO check. I simply don't have TIME to be sick.

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I Am
March 29, 2011

I am sad. I have had a shitty year but I'm strong and will not let it overpower my life. When it comes down to it, sometimes life just SUCKS. From about two weeks after I got married my poor husband and I have been on this roller coaster of emotional heartbreak called LIFE.

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A Killer Sex Drive?
February 18, 2011

We had sex; not a big deal. We're married. We're supposed to have sex. It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last time.

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Voice of ONE

Brooke Davidoff

Brooke Davidoff

Brooke grew up in San Diego, Calif., and from a young age she wanted to change the world with her words. She has been writing poetry since 1992, and majored in journalism in school.

She was diagnosed with AIDS when she was eleven weeks pregnant in her first year of marriage. She is now a single mother living in Long Beach, Calif.

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