Frankie Ninja With Partner Anthony Castro
San Francisco, Calif., Diagnosed in 2007 (Frankie) and 2000 (Anthony)
Frankie: People ask me about finding love and how I deal with it as far as being HIV positive. I didn't really know what love was until after I became HIV positive. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was just trying to find myself. On a Web site, I met Anthony. If you've heard the saying, "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck ..." -- I came to the conclusion that if it does walk and quack like a duck, then it must be love. So that's pretty much how we got together and it was really against all odds. Neither of us was really looking for love. And I certainly don't believe in online dating. But life has a way of twisting things on you.
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There is no right or wrong way to meet someone, except if you plan for it. Because if you say to yourself, "I want someone that is this," then once you find that, what you're going to find is that that's all that you have. "Oh, I want someone that's good looking." Well, yes, good looks will get you the person that you want, but if you can't back it up with passion, compassion or intellect, then those looks are going to fade. If you say, "I want someone that's going to make me laugh," what's going to happen when the last joke goes out?
With Anthony, we just developed a friendship and a support system. I can't tell you the actual day that we became boyfriends. I can tell you that
one day I woke up and realized, "Hey, Frank, you're in a relationship." And it's been nice ever since.
Anthony: The biggest advice that I can give to people is, don't look for love. It will find you. And if you push for something to happen, it may not come out the way you plan it to happen. Just let it flow naturally.
Read or watch the full interview with Frankie and Anthony.