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My Search for Meaning

A Video Blog

By Mark S. King

May 27, 2009

When I got my first position at an HIV/AIDS organization in 1987, I thought the job would be my last. I was HIV positive, living in Los Angeles and surrounded by fear and dying. How could I possibly be here to type this blog to you now?

It's a blessing and a curse of sorts. Why me, why now ... why ask why?

If you've been faced with your own mortality -- whether it was 20 years ago like me or if you tested HIV positive last week -- there comes a time when you have to ask what the meaning of this diagnosis is. That confusion and sense of meaninglessness was the engine of my drug addiction (or did the addiction create the loss of meaning?). At any rate, I talked to three key people who helped me sort it out: Dr. Jesse Peel, who is a retired psychiatrist living with AIDS; my own physician, Dr. David Morris; and a longtime gay Christian activist, Rev. Chris Glaser.

Episode Nine: My Search for Meaning

It turns out there is a common thread in their beliefs and worldviews. I hope you enjoy their takes on life, death and meaning. And I look forward to your own opinions of what the hell (or heaven) our existence means!

In the meantime, my friends, please be well. And good luck on your journey.


To contact Mark, click here.

See Also
10 Things You Can Do to Enhance Your Emotional Well-Being
Depression and HIV
Feeling Good Again: Mental Healthcare Works!
More Personal Viewpoints on Coping With HIV


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My Fabulous Disease

Mark S. King has been an active AIDS activist, writer and community organization leader since the early 1980s in Los Angeles. He has been an outspoken advocate for prevention education and for issues important to those living with HIV.

Diagnosed in 1985, Mark has held positions with the Los Angeles Shanti Foundation, AID Atlanta and AIDS Survival Project, and is an award-winning writer. He continues his volunteer work as an AIDS educator and speaker for conferences and events.

Speaking engagements: Mark King is available to speak to groups. Contact Mark about speaking at your organization or event!

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A Place Like This by Mark King

View an excerpt of Mark's book

To read PDF, click here

Interviews With Mark:

Mark King Looks Back at the AIDS Epidemic's Darkest Hour in the U.S. (May 14, 2008)

This Month in HIV: Crystal Methamphetamine and HIV (August 2007)

For the rest of Mark's articles, click here.

A Brief Disclaimer:

The opinions expressed by's bloggers are entirely their own, and do not necessarily reflect the views of itself.