HIV & Me: A Woman's Guide to Living With HIV: Step 10 - Putting it All Together

HIV & Me: A Woman's Guide to Living With HIV

"HIV is part of my life. I can't get rid of it. I can't turn the clock back. And I don't know that I would, at this point. ... I balance the HIV with life, because the reality is, there is a lot more hope now for living a long life than we have ever had before. I'm thinking, oh, gosh, I have to plan for my retirement now. I never thought about that before. It was, like, why save for retirement? I won't be here."

-- Cathy Olufs, diagnosed in 1995

In this booklet, we've talked about some of the most critical steps to take if you've been recently diagnosed with HIV: Educate yourself about HIV, find HIV support services and an HIV specialist, and prepare for and start HIV treatment if necessary. But perhaps the most important step you can take is the one that makes all the other steps possible: accepting your diagnosis and planning your future as a person living with HIV.

Regardless of the reason you were infected, something as life-changing as an HIV diagnosis usually gives people an unexpected chance to re-examine their lives. Many people with HIV say that their diagnosis turned out to be an opportunity to better their lives. That may sound crazy to you right now, but having to face a serious health problem can motivate you to dig deep and make changes in your life that you may have been putting off, or that you never even realized you needed to make.

Some of these changes, of course, may be staring you in the face. If you drink too much or don't exercise, it's time to change that. If you smoke, it's time to stop. Anything that adds stress, frustration or conflict—be it a bad relationship, a soul-crushing job or trouble paying the bills—can be a drag on your immune system, or can make it harder for you to commit to taking your HIV medications on time, every time.

"I think you find your strength from within. I think you have to go through your own little grieving process first, at least I did. Once you get used to that idea, you'll say, 'OK, I'm not going to be ashamed I have HIV.'"

-- Bernie, diagnosed in 2006

Talk to your HIV specialist, a counselor or a support group about these issues, and ask yourself what you can do to improve the situation. Never underestimate the impact that emotional health can have on your physical health.

You may have to do a lot of work and seek out emotional and maybe spiritual support, before you can educate friends and family about the realities of HIV, and help them separate the facts from the myths.

But know that isolation and silence are hazardous to your health. If you don't feel comfortable going to an HIV/AIDS organization for support, the Internet may be a lifesaver. There are an assortment of Web sites where you can learn more about HIV and its treatment, stay on top of the latest HIV news and even meet people. Want to connect with any of the women featured in this booklet? All their stories and e-mail addresses are featured at www.thebody.com/women. But it's up to you to get out there. Once you connect with others, you'll be surprised at how invaluable you'll find the emotional support.

Fortunata Kasege, who was diagnosed in 1997, says that after her diagnosis, "I had days when I would just stay home and cry all day. This changed after I went to my first support group. There I found a group of women who had lived with this disease for 10, 20 years. I was just amazed how healthy they looked."

Don't forget that there are more than one million HIV-positive people in the United States—many in the same position as you. Reach out for that support; it will strengthen you and challenge you to keep going, keep growing and keep living life to the fullest.

Glossary

Download a PDF of this booklet.

To view other booklets, click here.

The Body is a service of Remedy Health Media, LLC, 250 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10107. The Body and its logos are trademarks of Remedy Health Media, LLC, and its subsidiaries, which owns the copyright of The Body's homepage, topic pages, page designs and HTML code. General Disclaimer: The Body is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice or professional services. The information provided through The Body should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, consult your health care provider.