With friends and, in particular, sexual relationships, it's been tough. I've always been a little shy and to myself, despite the fact that I played sports and everything. So finding out my status at that age, in college, already a little withdrawn -- it shut me down a lot. A lot of the normal social development that I would have had through my whole 20s never happened. So I find myself now where I still feel like a little 18-year-old kid, shy and reluctant to talk with people, uncomfortable with meeting new people -- and then to put the whole, you know, "Is this someone I disclose to, do I even want to bother?" thing on it! So over time I've gone through a lot of scenarios where it just scared the hell out of me, and sometimes I just feel safer not dealing with anyone.

I've been in situations where someone, to prove that they still accept you, want to have sex right away. Like "Let's have sex!" just to prove that they're OK with it. And no! That's not necessary -- just be you! I'm gonna be me, and just let things happen naturally.

How do you decide whether to disclose your HIV status to someone?

Ideally, I want to be able to disclose, and to have the person on the other end accept me. But in reality -- and this might be my own rationalizing -- there's always something that we're not really comfortable about. It could be our eating habits or what our favorite TV show is or something that happened in our past that we feel less than comfortable revealing, so it's the same way on the surface. But I try ... It's interesting now that because of my job, in a lot of cases people already know I'm positive before I get there. It's completely different, though, when you meet somebody one-on-one and they have no idea who I am -- and it scares me to death. It just goes to a point of "Do I feel comfortable with this person?" And, of course, there's a certain level of comfort and timing that has to happen where you just say, "OK, now! This is it!"

What is the best response you have ever gotten from telling someone?

The best response is when it's not a big deal. I don't want to say, "I'm HIV positive", and then all of a sudden it's like, "Ohhhhh!" and all this caring -- I just want it to be that I'm still Larry. I know there are probably things that go on in the other person's mind, questions that arise, but it's best when they treat me just the same.

What is the worst response?

There was a time when there was someone I really liked, more or less from a distance. But people, when they find out -- and sometimes it's a passive disclosure, where we might get in a roundabout conversation or they might see an article about me -- I purposely just wait to see what their reaction is gonna be. And you have people who, literally, leave skid marks -- you never hear from them again. They don't want to have anything to do with you. And I don't care how confident I am with myself, I never get used to that.

How do you deal when that happens?

I would be lying if I said I'm not disappointed or my feelings not hurt at the very least, but you carry it and you move on and you wait for it to wear off. No matter how bad it feels, I know it will pass. I think that's one reason why I stay active and work and do so many things, because then things tend to rotate out of my head a lot faster.

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When did you disclose to them that you are positive?

I told my mom and six friends right away -- in high school, there were six of us, three guys and three girls who hung together like glue. I told my mom first, and then invited all of them over and passed around the letter I got from Lifesource. But the thing was, I was like, "I'm giving you this information about me, but I don't want to talk about it and I don't want it to be brought up again." I didn't talk about it again for years.

How did they respond to you?

My mom really took it hard, really hard. I never felt anything negative, just a lot of concern, and I felt that in some way she felt she was responsible somehow. My friends were all very supportive -- and very scared. One said, "You know, I really thought we would grow old together. I can't believe this is happening to you!" They were supportive, but very afraid, and rightfully so.

I didn't talk with my girlfriend at that time. What I did was just break it off with no excuse or reason. And just recently, she was able to get closure on that -- because we're still close. She has two children now; I see her all the time. Recently I was able to disclose to her and talk about why I had to break it off at the time.

How do you want people to treat you?

I think they treat me exactly the way I want to be treated: I don't want any special attention, but I do want support -- support going through this masters program, working the hours that I work. I just need support, period, and I get that.

How do you decide whether to disclose your HIV status to someone?

Lately, I don't have a choice. Usually when I meet people, they already know because I'm a pretty public figure and I talk about it wherever I am. But there are moments when it is an issue, when I don't want to talk about it and I don't want to disclose it. It's when I'm meeting someone new, especially if we are meeting to date. It's kind of like "Okay, here we go ..." I usually start by asking them if they know their status, and then we go from there.

Now, if someone tells me that they don't know their status, I'm very unlikely to be intimate with him, because in this day and age if you don't know your status, you're not the person for me: You're not cognizant of the fact that you are a man who has sex with men, and we're the highest-risk population, so if you don't understand that, then our worlds are not going to gel at all. Then you don't understand re-infection, resistant virus, any of that. So we will be friends, and I will educate you and help you get tested. But as far as intimacy, we're not even going there.

What is the best response you have ever gotten when telling someone?

There was a girl in a class at the Chicago Vocational Career Academy when I was doing a presentation, and she was just overjoyed at the fact that I had the courage to stand in front of this class and say that. And there was so much love and so much appreciation in her words, and she wished me so much strength and well-being that I was almost overtaken. I hardly ever break down in presentations, but I almost did because of her reaction.

What is the worst response?

The worst was from someone who said that I deserved what I got for engaging in intimate relations with other men. I was giving a presentation, so I couldn't give him the Keith Green that the hood might know. But there was this all-eyes-on-him kinda thing, and there were a couple of folks in that room who got him together for me. I didn't even have to do it.

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What is the best response you have ever gotten from telling someone?

My son's reaction. That he looked up to me and that he was proud to just call me a friend. "I can draw strength from you. You seem like a real strong person who don't take no stuff from nobody and I want to be like that."

What is the worst response?

The worst response I got was probably from the people of Baltimore. Because it's almost like an oxymoron to be black, gay and HIV positive in Baltimore. For some reason it just seemed like I was the only black gay person and then, on top of that, I was HIV positive and wasn't afraid to say it. So I have had people talk about me relentlessly, call me all kinds of names, spread rumors -- you know, "Don't talk to him, he got the package" -- block me on the computer, like they could get it through the computer. I just thought that was hilarious.

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When did you disclose to them that you are positive?

I decided to disclose my HIV status because I was just so angry at seeing what discrimination and being stigmatized has done to us as a community. I said, "I'm just not going to take it anymore!" Oprah Winfrey did a show with me back in 1996. I did a show with Ricki Lake. I was just featured in Marie Claire magazine. And it's like, I'm mainstream. We need to have HIV and AIDS again mainstream because it is here and it has not gone away.

When I receive the negative responses, guess what? I brush it off. No matter what, now until the day that I close my eyes and I depart this earth, there are going to be ignorant people, arrogant people. I always say to people, "Whatever you think about me is none of my business."

What is the best response you have ever gotten from telling someone?

That I have given them a chance to save their lives. I will continue to save lives.

What is the worst response?

Someone tried to make me get deported. It was, for me, being rejected by someone whom I had a deep interest in. But again, that was the best thing that could happen because I found out after that she was a piece of work!

How has your sex life changed since you became positive?

It has become exotic! I have learned to eroticize my sex and sexuality. I disclose to people when I meet them and I give them a chance to make a choice. I teach them. I teach them how to enjoy sex, and we do it safely. Honey, I teach people stuff they never thought!

Have you faced rejection from potential sex partners?

No. That's the thing -- it's not what you do, it's how you go about it.

Do you have a policy about if or when you tell a sex partner that you are positive?

If I have a notion that you have some kind of interest in me, I let you know. I want to be able to give somebody a choice if they want to be with me because I'm a public figure! I'm out there.

Even my last partner. I met her at a club, and we're hanging out and she's kicking it with me, and then she says, "You know, let's go outside, I want to talk to you." So we get outside and I said, "Two things I want you to know. I'm a public figure. You might walk down the street and pick up a paper or a magazine and you might see me." And she's like, "Oh, really?" I said, "Well, it's because of the life that I live and the work that I do." She's like, "What?" I said, "I am someone living with the AIDS virus." And her response was, "Well, I guess there won't be no eating for me." I said, "Well, OK darling, we'll take care of that later on down the road." Just like that. And we were together for seven years.

Do you feel that if you practice safe sex, it is necessary to tell a sex partner that you are positive?

Yes indeed. Even if you practice safe sex. Because HIV is so stigmatized -- you could be just seen going into a building that provides services for people who are HIV positive and somebody would assume that you are infected. So you've gotta be able to give this person every bit of opportunity to make a decision for themselves.

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